Taking a Good
Look at God’s Blueprint for a Blessed Home
Children and
Parenting
Ephesians 6:1-4
Pastor Craig Ledbetter
25 July, 2010 AM
I.
Introduction
(Psalm 127:1-5)
A.
This month, I am laying out God’s
plan for the Christian home.
B.
I am married 25 years and I feel
like I have so much yet to learn
C.
I feel like I have made too many
failures as a Dad and as a Husband
D.
But believe God more than I
believe my feelings, and I believe God’s word more than I believe the modern
philosophies of parenting and marriage development!
E.
Hey! We all have made more
problems in our homes than we have ever fixed, but God says:
1.
He will fix, what we ruin
2.
He will work, when we faint
3.
He will honour us, as we honour
Him
4.
He will bless, when we at least
strive to obey Him
F.
So we turn now to the children!
Those “blessed angels” that we believed were born sinless and sweet and that
they would NEVER be like all the other children in the neighbourhood!
G.
Hmmm. Children! How are they to
fit into their home?
1.
Most are counting the days until
they can leave their home
2.
Most on the outside are nice and
sweet, but inside are imagining the most awful of sins
3.
Most are chin-deep into
pornography
4.
Most have a better relationship
with their pet hamster than they do their Mom or their Dad
H.
Children are a great blessing in
the home – they are God’s blessing in your home!
I.
But to the children God says,
your home is a blessing to you! And He expects of YOU some things
J.
Along with instructions to the
children, God has some expectations of parents as well
II.
Message
A.
The Child’s
Responsibility – How to Love Your Parents
1.
God expects some things of the
Children in this Church. He shows you and me how to love OUR parents!
2.
Obey Your
Parents
– Both of Them!
a.
Submission is Non-Negotiable
1)
This command is part of a series
of non-negotiable instructions to different people about Submission
2)
Started with the wife
3)
Now the children
4)
After this, God deal with
servants/employees towards their masters/employers
5)
This concept of submission is THE
KEY to a blessed and happy home
6)
No home is happy or blessed when
anarchy and chaos reigns!
7)
Part of the Ten Commandments
8)
That’s why this is “right” –
because God said so
b.
The Command is Written to
Children
1)
Not written to
a)
Just the theologically trained,
or to the king, or to priests, or the religious crowd – even though they are
supposed to read it
b)
Not written to the Parents
c)
Not written to the “teenagers” or
“20-somethings”
2)
But written to everyone… EVEN to
children!
3)
Evidently, children are supposed
to be reading their Bible!
a)
Prov 1:8 My son, hear the
instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother.
b)
Prov 3:1,2 My son, forget not my
law; but let thine heart keep my commandments: For length of days, and long
life, and peace, shall they add to thee.
c)
Prov 23:22 Hearken unto thy
father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.
4)
Young person! This Bible is
written to you!
a)
It doesn’t need to be rewritten
with multimedia sound and video clips and pop-out pages, and modern words in
it ---
b)
It just needs to be READ and
OBEYED!
c.
Go against the spirit of this age
(Eph 2:2)
1)
Your first priority is NOT to
yourself! That is a lie out of HELL!
2)
Your first priority is to your
home (Mal 4:6) – and you are just a child
a)
It is where you came into this
world
b)
It is where you got your most
training
c)
Where you learned to speak, and
play, and were loved
d)
If you get THIS area of your life
right, you will enjoy life like no one else ever can!
e)
Hey! Children NEED both their
parents
f)
AND! Children NEED to honour
their parents
g)
If you are not honouring your
parents, you are falling apart – guaranteed!
d.
Do it because you are saved now!
e.
Examples of Obedient Children
Include
1)
Young David (1Sam 17:20)
2)
Young Jesus (Luke 2:51) – God
Almighty obeyed his earthly parents!
f.
Example of Disobedient Children –
Esau (Gen 28:6-9)
g.
There is absolutely no way to
honour your parents if you are disobeying them about:
1)
Your friends
2)
Being at church
3)
Doing your homework
4)
Staying away from smokes and
drink and drugs
5)
Coming in when they say come in
6)
Telling them what they want to
know – where you have been, who you have been with, what you have been doing
h.
Obedience is better than ANYTHING
else you can do for them (1Sam 15:22)
i.
So, Obey them!
3.
Listen to them
and Learn from them
(Prov 13:1; 15:5)
a.
Quit back-talking – that’s pride
b.
Quit interrupting – that’s the
devil in you rejecting their authority over you!
c.
Keep your mouth shut and listen
to them – they are usually a lot smarter than you
d.
James 1:19
e.
They have a lot to teach you that
your friends CAN’T teach you
f.
Listen long and hard to your
parents- there will come a day where you would give everything just to sit
down with them and be able to get their wisdom again!
4.
Love them, Hug
them, Hold them
– like Joseph did (Gen 46:29)
a.
It is NOT mature to keep your
distance from your parents
b.
Hug your Mom! Kiss your Mom! I
don’t care how old you are!
c.
Tell your parents you love them –
whether they never tell you back! DO IT!
d.
Put your arm around your Dad and
sneak a hug from the back or the side!
e.
Hold them!
5.
Praise Them,
Thank Them, Bless Them
(Pr 30:11; 31:28)!
a.
Thank your Mom for Dinner; for
b.
Thank your Dad for being so smart
and handsome
c.
If someone praises you, pass it
on to your Dad or your Mom “My Dad taught me” or, “My Mom showed me how to
do that”
d.
Go out of your way to do
something that blesses them
e.
Don’t wait to be told to do
something – do it out of love for them! Out of love for Jesus!
6.
Forgive Them
– you will make the same mistakes, and probably more!
a.
What you don’t forgive, will be
the thing that you do worse than they
b.
Your parents probably came out of
a generation that never said “I love you” or “I’m sorry”
c.
So teach them! Show them what
Christ has done in your heart
1)
If there is ANYTHING that Jesus
Christ has done, it has been that He taught you how to forgive
2)
EVEN when the offending party
didn’t deserve it, and didn’t even want it
d.
Don’t become bitter! In the story
of Jacob and Esau, Esau became bitter!
1)
First against Jacob for robbing
him
2)
Then against both his parents,
for favouring Jacob over him
3)
Then against God, for allowing it
all to happen!
4)
And he never was able to get
right
5)
Esau’s bitterness was worse than
what Jacob did to him!
7.
Take Care of
Them
(1Tim 5:7,8; Mt 15:4-6)
a.
Take care of them when they are
old
b.
Don’t ever ignore the needs of
your parents as they grow older – euthanasia!
1)
They do NOT want to be a burden
to you
2)
BUT they do want to be a part of
your lives
c.
No matter how much effort it
takes, spend time with them, and phone them, and make sure they have
everything they need
d.
I know many people in
8.
It doesn’t matter how old you are
– you are to ALWAYS honour your parents. You may not be a little child, but
you will always be their child! Never get angry enough that you go silent
against the, or say things that only hurt them!
9.
Why Do All
This?
a.
Because it Pleases God (
b.
Because of the Benefits! God’s
Blessings (Eph 6:1,2). There are 2 benefits to those who obey this command:
Success in life, and a long life to enjoy those successes!
c.
Do you want to live long or die
young?
d.
But you won’t believe me!
1)
Most of you will believe your
friends are having the fun, and your classmates
2)
And most of you will believe the
millionaires the music stars and the movie stars are enjoying life!
3)
Most of you will go right ahead
and fight and rebel against your Dad and your Mom, and think it doesn’t
matter!
e.
You had better fear being the
rebel you are (Pr 30:17; Matt 15:4) and start asking God to humble you and
change you before it is too late!
B.
The Parent’s
Responsibilities – How to Love Your Children
1.
Expect
Obedience
a.
THE most important thing you must
teach your children is OBEDIENCE
1)
They should obey your calm voice
2)
They should know that you are not
making a suggestion
3)
We expect it of DOGS and HORSES,
but not our CHILDREN???
b.
Speak firmly, and don’t back down
– YOU ARE THE PARENT! Not them!
1)
The first two years of a child’s
life is mainly focused on language, motion, and obedience!
2)
Most Moms complain about their
children keeping them up at night, and not going to bed when they lay them
down, and not sitting still in church
3)
Your first and most important
effort is in getting them not to get along with their other brothers or
sister, or in getting them to be good
4)
NO! Your first job is to teach
them to do what you say, when you say it!
c.
Never count!
d.
Never give up!
e.
By the way, if your child is 17,
EXPECT OBEDIENCE! It will be much harder, but GOD put you in charge and will
answer to him for being passive as a parent when He commanded you to take
control, and keep control!
2.
Command with
God-Given Authority
– not as the scribes (Mark 1:22)
a.
Not like the modern pop-artist
book authors – Dr Spock
1)
He had a "no spanking" edict! You
say “slapping” here
2)
He had a “child’s welfare above
all” attitude which sounded good but meant the child was to be left to
himself so he will come around sooner or later on his own
3)
Prov 29:15 says, “The rod and
reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to
shame.”
4)
Check out our drug epidemic and
packed prisons. Thank you Dr. Spock!
5)
We've raised a generation of
children who don't realize that there are consequences to what we do.
b.
Some of you only know how to yell
– speak with authority in your home, or your children will speak with their
own authority!
3.
Correct and
Chasten Disobedience
a.
Correct not only Wrong actions,
but AND wrong attitudes
b.
God chastens HIS children (Ps
6:1; 94:12)
c.
Parents are commanded to be
proactive in guiding their children, and correcting them when they get
“off-track” (Pr 13:24; 19:18; 22:15; 29:15)
d.
If you are of the “new”
persuasion that you should never break a child’s will when it is against
obeying you, then you have a walking time-bomb on your hands that will shame
you and hurt you and destroy your home!
4.
Teach Your
Children.
“Bring them UP” means they are low and need to be taught:
a.
About GOD first (Dt 6:6,7).
1)
Too many parents are teaching
their children about planets, and about “sharing” and about their body
parts, when what kids need to know is GOD!
2)
Luke 18:16 But Jesus called
them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid
them not: for of such is the
b.
About right and wrong (Prov 4:11)
c.
About character and integrity and
honesty and dependability – they are not going to learn that from BARNEY, or
MADONNA!
d.
About REAL love, and REAL values
e.
About communication – talking
about things!
1)
Teach your children how to talk
by TALKING with them
2)
It doesn’t matter if they think
you are out of step, or old fashioned, or not “with it!” You still need to
talk, and get everyone to talk – about politics, about current events, about
the message on Sunday, about problems, and about praises!
3)
HOME is to be a place where
people TALK! Not TEXT, Email, YouTube, Channel Surf, or sit in silent
rejection of those around you!
f.
Nurture is a farming term – it
means create the best condition for growth. Are you doing that in your home?
Or is the TV and the Internet in charge of growth?
5.
Treasure Their
Mother and Their Father
(Eph 5:25,28,29)
a.
BOTH Dad and Mom need to treasure
each other
b.
Starts with Dad though!
c.
It is the saddest thing for a
child to grow up in a selfish home! One that is always fighting! Pure
Selfishness! Period!
d.
Your children desperately need
YOU to love your mate! Not your live-in, or your “partner”, but your WIFE or
your HUSBAND!
e.
Praise and honour your mate in
front of the children! And all your life!
6.
Spend Time
With Your Children
(Eph 6:4)
a.
It takes time to nurture someone
- It doesn’t have to be loads of time
b.
They need to be able to be busy
on their own
1)
NOT on the internet all day, or
in front of the TV all day and night!
2)
But playing, drawing, working on
legos or a tall mast ship project
c.
But spend time with them, EVERY
DAY
1)
At the dinner table
2)
At bedtime – pray with them, talk
with them, tell them you love them
3)
Make special times/dates with
your children one at a time
d.
It goes a long way to bless them
as you lead them
7.
Don’t Crush
Your Kids
(Eph 6:4)
a.
Don’t discourage them - Don’t
provoke them to wrath
b.
Be careful to not be a tyrant
c.
Oh they will think you are one
when you are correcting them
d.
But love them Firmly, and
Disciple them!
III.
Conclusion
Children are a great blessing in
the home – they are God’s blessing in your home!
But to the children God says,
your home is a blessing to you! And He expects of YOU some things
Along with instructions to the
children, God has some expectations of parents as well
You both have to work together!
You are BOTH (you Parents and you Children) on the same home! So work
TOGETHER, and do things GOD’S way!
A.
The Child’s
Responsibilities –
How to Love
Your Parents
1.
God expects
some things of the Children in this Church
a.
Obey your Parents
1)
No home is happy or blessed when
anarchy and chaos reigns!
2)
Obedience is better than ANYTHING
else you can do for them (1Sam 15:22)
3)
There is absolutely no way to
honour your parents if you are disobeying them
b.
Listen to them and Learn from
them
c.
Love Them, hug them, hold them –
like Joseph did (Gen 46:29)
d.
Praise Them, Thank Them, Bless
Them!
e.
Forgive Them – you will make the
same mistakes, and probably more!
f.
Take Care of Them (Mt 15:4-6)
2.
Why Do All
This?
a.
Because it Pleases God (
b.
Because of the Benefits! God’s
Blessings (Eph 6:1,2). There is a precious promise to those who obey this
command – actually two benefits
c.
Do you want to live long and
enjoy life, or die young?
B.
The Parent’s
Responsibilities – How to Love Your Children
1.
Expect
Obedience – that’s is real love Mom, and Dad!
a.
THE most important thing you must
teach your children is OBEDIENCE
b.
Speak firmly, and don’t back down
– YOU ARE THE PARENT! Not them!
2.
Command with
God-Given Authority
– don’t soft-step around when instructing
3.
Correct and
Chasten All Disobedience
– that’s a very neglected job!
4.
Teach Your
Children.
“Bring them UP” means they are low and need to be taught:
a.
About GOD first (Dt 6:6,7)
b.
About right and wrong (Prov 4:11)
c.
About character and integrity and
honesty and dependability
d.
About REAL love, and REAL values
e.
About communication – talking
about things!
5.
Treasure Their
Mother, and Their Father
(Eph 5:25,28,29)
6.
Spend Time
With Your Children
a.
It doesn’t have to be loads of
time
b.
But spend time with them, EVERY
DAY
7.
Don’t Crush
Your Kids
a.
Don’t discourage them - Don’t
provoke them to wrath
b.
But love them Firmly, and
Disciple them!
C.
This is the Bible’s Command for
Parenting, and Growing Up in a Nutshell - but it takes a lifetime to
accomplish
D.
And even though it may be hard at
first, the pay-offs are immeasurable! The stability and blessings of a godly
home, designed by God, and built by submitted families will:
1.
Stabilize a crumbling nation
2.
See God’s blessings on children
to the third and fourth generation
3.
Satisfy the hurting soul – no
matter what they may have gone through
4.
Go a long way to saving a world
lost in sin because they have never seen what God can do in a home!
E.
If you need help being the Mom or
Dad, or Teen or Child you should be…
Good!
F.
That’s where Jesus comes in! Only
“He” can actually help in your home!
1.
He needs to save your soul first
– starts with YOUR relationship with Him
2.
He then needs to be in charge of
your heart and will
3.
THEN He will be able to be in
charge of your home, and will be allowed to make the necessary repairs that
we all so desperately need!