What Young Woman Must Do for Their Home
Titus 2:4-5
20 Feb, 2011
AM
Pastor Craig
Ledbetter
I.
Introduction (Titus 2:4,5)
A.
Ladies, I have some homework for you to
do this week! Work that is supposed to be done in your home
1.
Not ironing
2.
Not helping your children with their
schoolbooks
3.
Not washing the clothes
4.
Or doing the dishes
5.
No!
B.
Work in your home that will strengthen
your home, and probably save your home
C.
There is a problem today
1.
A problem with honouring the word of
God, especially in the home!
2.
Yes, we men are the majority of the
blame
3.
But a woman can, without even thinking,
do something so horrible and damaging that God over and over repeats serious
warnings of it
4.
What is it?
a.
Did you notice the end of verse 5?
Failure to live according to these eight priorities will cause the Word of God
to be blasphemed (i.e., abused, dishonoured, mocked, made fun of, disregarded).
b.
A woman, even the most sweetest and
kindest of woman, can end up blaspheming God’s word. Ruining its effect in their
home. Destroying its ability to transform the world around them!
5.
No wonder people don’t take the Bible
seriously… because CHRISTIANS don’t take it seriously!!!
6.
But…, a wife who orders her life
according to these priorities will honour God's Word, and will herself be
honoured!
D.
This whole month we are looking at
honouring and obeying God’s word, the Bible, in our homes! Letting GOD build our
homes!
E.
We definitely want to honour the Bible
in our church, but it needs to be believed, and obeyed IN OUR HOMES! From first
thing Monday morning, until last thing Sunday night – God’s word is to be
cherished and loved and obeyed!
F.
What I am about to preach will NOT be
easy to hear and do unless the wife has very bended knees, a very humble heart,
and a very yielded spirit to the word of God, and to the Lordship of Jesus
Christ!
G.
We will look at the first four homework
lessons this morning
H.
Next week we will look at the last four
II.
Background
A.
What are God's priorities for women?
Eight priorities of a godly wife are spelled out in Titus 2:3-5 where Paul
exhorts the older women to teach young
women…
1.
to be sober
2.
to love their husbands
3.
to love their children
4.
to be discreet
5.
chaste
6.
keepers at home
7.
good
8.
obedient to their own husbands
B.
Folks, this is not to lay a guilt-trip
on anybody!
C.
The issue at stake is serious
1.
People all over the world “profess that
they know God, but in works DENY him!” (Titus 1:16)! Religious people say they
know God, but live completely opposite of His ways!
2.
As Christians, we should never give the
devil an occasion to speak reproachfully of Jesus Christ (1Tim 5:14) – we should
never be the reason why people make fun of Jesus
3.
Failures in our home are a big reason
for the world’s reproach of Jesus!
4.
According to Romans 2:24, we can cause
people to blaspheme God instead of worship God! I want people to know and love
and worship Jesus, but my life, and especially my home life can actually turn
people away from God!
5.
Our actions at home should adorn (make
beautiful) the doctrine of God (Titus 2:10)
6.
Those actions should provoke people to
be amazed at the wisdom and rightness of God (1Pet 2:12; 3:16) in how a home
should run!
7.
That will be the proof that you have
done your homework ladies!!!
D.
Housework will not save your home – but
HOME work will!
III.
Message – A Woman’s Homework
A.
First, wives are commanded to be
Sober – sensible! Have a
right way of thinking!
1.
Sounds strange, but it makes sense!
2.
God starts with the mind! This is the
FIRST thing that God wants worked on in you – and that is your mind – why?
a.
Because our adversary, the devil takes
advantage of you being unaware of his tactics (1Peter 5:8)
b.
Because it is with our minds that we
make decisions
c.
When our HEARTS are allowed to guide us,
we crash (Jer 17:9)
3.
So, what does it mean to be sober?
a.
Sober means to be prudent, careful,
thoughtful, wise, well regulated, under control!
b.
Well aware of what you are doing, how
you are doing it, and where you are headed
1)
Driving a car requires sobriety – not
distracted, or slow to grasp
2)
Cutting wood and metal in a shop
requires sobriety – well aware of what you are doing
3)
Climbing a cliff requires sobriety –
thoughtful about every step you are taking
c.
Being sober-minded is not as easy as it
may seem.
d.
A young married woman has great
pressures of married life and exhausting work in modern child rearing. There is
great opportunity for depression and bitterness to creep in. The older woman's
counsel enables the young woman to be occupied with a relationship with Jesus
Christ, to see life "with eternity's values in view", to make decisions from the
wisdom of God's viewpoint.
e.
The opposite of sobriety is flippant,
carelessness, frivolity, appathy
f.
Too many women are trading in this Bible
and just going “with the flow” of the world around them – just doing what
everyone else is doing, and acting like everyone around them!
4.
Hey Ladies…
a.
How well aware are you of the devil’s
tactics and patterns in your life?
b.
The Bible is the TOOL by which the mind
is prepared for those attacks
c.
THAT’S where God starts with you ladies
– with your thinking!
d.
That’s why it is so important to be
reading this Book YOURSELF, and learning it yourself, and obeying it yourself!
B.
Secondly, Love Your Husband.
1.
A plain and simple command. You loved
him when you first got married!
2.
There are no conditions or exceptions
given.
a.
Go on, take a look for your self, and
see if God says, “if” or “but” or “except in such and such a case”
b.
Aren’t you glad that God doesn’t put
conditions on HIS love towards YOU?
3.
Ladies, loving your husband is no great
accomplishment – but NOT loving them is a sin!
a.
God is not referring to romantic or
sexual love, although that has an important and proper place in marriage.
b.
God is speaking of committed love that
godly wives choose to have for their husbands, just as godly husbands
choose to have such committed and sacrificial love for their wives (Ephesians
5:25, 28).
c.
The phrase refers to a willing,
determined love that is not based on a husband's worthiness, but on God's
command that it is right, and best for YOU. If you are not loving your husband,
you are actually hurting yourself more!
4.
Even unlovable, uncaring, unfaithful,
and ungrateful husbands are to be loved. Hmmmm. Have I lost some of you? You
see, this is where we live – in the real world, filled with very imperfect men
that are hard to love… and yet Christ commands a wife to love her man!
5.
What it means is this:
a.
Do all you can do for him to succeed as
a man, and as the leader of your home, and as the lover of the most beautiful
women in your home!
b.
Love him as a gift from God – not quite
perfect, but that is why God gave YOU to him – to complete and help perfect him
(Gen 2:18).
c.
Bridle your Tongue. Don’t ever give the
devil the upper hand in your home by a bitter attitude or by angry actions (Pr
21:19)!
d.
Make sure you love your husband MORE
than you love your children – that is God’s order of things! The devil LOVES to
get us out of order! Nothing wrong with loving your children – just if you love
them more than your husband, you will probably lose them!
e.
Reverence him. Highly respect him!!! You
used to! Do it again!
1)
Eph 5:33
“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as
himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” Come tonight to learn
just how to do that!!! Don’t you complain or gripe or ignore the word of God
2)
Your husband needs you to talk WITH him,
not at him, or to him!
3)
Did you know that your husband needs you
to respect him more than he needs sex?!!! Remember that! He needs it like he
needs air to breathe!
f.
Pray for him – by name! By need, for his
protection, and for his walk with God!
g.
Treat him like a man, not like a
girl-friend - ladies can improve on communication in the home by doing it
less. God made women verbal creatures, which can frustrate men with the
overwhelming amount of your words. Instead of expecting your husband to be a
girlfriend (and men make wonderful husbands, but not girlfriends), take these
wise words to heart…
1)
Men make terrible mind readers, so be
direct. Dropping subtle hints doesn’t work with most men, and it doesn’t mean a
man is insensitive, uncaring, or oblivious.
2)
Spell out whether you want help and
advice, or if you’re just venting. God made men to want to be our heroes, so
understand that you can frustrate him if he can’t fix what’s hurting you because
all you want is someone to listen.
3)
And finally, take whatever he says at
face value. Women tend to overanalyze men when they are just not that
complicated.
h.
Please him.
1)
1Co 7:34 “There is difference also
between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the
Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married
careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.” There it
is! Man Oh man! What a Book is the Bible!
2)
Ladies, did you know that you do NOT
need for ME to tell you how to make your husband’s day! You just need me to
encourage you to go ahead and bless him with the gift of your love! What a
priceless, and matchless gift you are!
6.
How do you get to the place where you
can do that?
a.
Love the Lord
b.
Humble yourself
c.
Listen to older women – ignore all the
younger women’s advice
d.
Trust God’s word
C.
Thirdly, Wives Are To Love Their
Children.
1.
What a strange command! "To love their
children."
a.
Most women really believe they are
loving their children – and they are very offended if someone even INFERS that
they might not be
b.
Most men actually think they are loving
their wife well – and they are greatly offended if someone hints that they
really aren’t – that they really are just being selfish!
c.
Wouldn’t it be good to just drop our
guard and listen to God’s viewpoint?
2.
Wrong Order of love today!
a.
The world has changed this order around.
Most women love their children more than they do their husbands. Don’t you find
that odd?
b.
They didn’t marry their children…
something happened that cause them to think that loving their children would
bring them better rewards… wrong!
c.
It usually causes you to lose BOTH your
husband AND your children!
d.
They come SECOND in your home!
3.
A well known psychologists wrote, "The
point at which many marriages fail is in OVER-investing in the children and
UNDER-investing in the marriage." I find this to be very often true!
4.
An example:
a.
We KNOW that is it wicked and wrong for
a woman to ignore her children, and refuse to meet their needs, don’t we? We
call it negligence
b.
Let me say, that it is just as wicked to
abandon your husband ladies, to refuse to honour and bless him! Think about it
that way, and your husband will take on a different value!
5.
What kind of love should it be?
a.
More than “maternal” love. You wonder
why a young woman has to be taught to love her own children. But for Christians,
due parental concern goes far beyond natural “maternal love” (which does not
usually have to be taught). What God is asking a Mom to do is love them to
Christ - bring him up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph 6:4).
1)
This includes Biblical child training,
Christian education, teaching manners and dress, respect for privacy and
property, respect for authority, especially the authority of God, their
dependence on God, their love for the Lord Jesus Christ and for the Word of God.
2)
A child must learn as early in possible
the means of having victory over sin, from the standpoint of staying in
fellowship with God and in developing freedom from chronic, fear, worry,
cruelty, bitterness, envy, hatred, maligning, gossiping, judging, revenge
seeking, and so forth. Along with this is the freedom from the need to sublimate
through alcohol, drugs, or fornication.
3)
The result of victory over sin patterns
in the life is the freedom from divine discipline and from the self-induced
misery caused by sin with and the accompanying neuroses and psychoses brought on
by chronic sin.
4)
In all phases of life, your child should
develop a set of Bible standards by which to make decisions which come from
divine viewpoint. They get those standards easiest from their parents!!!
5)
That’s a lot to teach our children – she
needs her husband’s help!
b.
Sacrificial love. This love is just like
the love you are your husband are supposed to have for each other – it
should be selfless and sacrificial.
c.
Needed love. Your love towards your
children cannot be based on their personality, intelligence, attractiveness or
worthiness, but on their need.
1)
What is their greatest need? We know it
is LOVE, but WHO’S love?
2)
Too many parents think THEIR love is all
their kids need!
3)
But a child’s heart was fashioned by God
to know and enjoy the love of God!
4)
So, the most important responsibility of
love for believing parents is to lead their children to a saving relationship
with Jesus Christ. Showing them God’s love and patience, and His ways in your
home!
5)
Mothers are to love their children in
every way - practical, physical, social, moral, and spiritual - with a love that
has no conditions and no limits. This kind of love, to be fully expressed, is
extremely demanding as the mother seeks to fulfil her obligation to raise godly
children (see 1 Timothy 2:15).
6.
True Parental love is…
a.
Not permissive, but firm (Prov 29:15;
1Sam 3:13)
b.
Not only practical, but moral and pure
(Deut 6:6,7)
c.
Not scheduled, but both spontaneous and
consistent – kids need lots of love-surprises
d.
Not based on feelings only, but on your
choice
e.
Not airy-fairy, but focused on the goal
of godliness in them (2Tim 1:5; Acts 16:1)
7.
All of you ladies probably love your
children, but if the truth be known, you would probably wish to know how to love
them better. Well good then! That’s the right start!
8.
To love your children well – that is the
goal! To affect them for good, and to save them from the scars and stupidities
of our selfishness!
D.
Fourth, Wives Are To Be Discreet.
(Prov 2:11; 11:22; 1Tim 2:9,10)
1.
Discretion is very important
2.
It means
a.
Carefully guarding what you say and do
b.
To judge critically of what is correct
and proper
c.
To be Careful with the way they live
d.
To think about what you are doing,
saying, wearing
e.
To question your motives
f.
Another word for it in the Bible is
Prudence
3.
Our world is almost completely out of
control! Like runaway horses!
a.
Unbridled tongues – people say anything
vile today
b.
Out of control imaginations
c.
Unrestrained anger
d.
Uncontrolled eyes
4.
Well, a woman, especially a young woman
needs to be careful of the following things:
a.
In how she dresses
1)
All Christian women, and especially
young women are to "adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and
sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which
becometh women professing godliness) with good works." (1 Tim. 2:9-10).
2)
"Modesty" refers to a healthy sense of
shame at saying anything, doing anything, or dressing in any way that would
cause a man to lust.
b.
In being embarrassable – being soft and
sensitive to things that SHOULD embarrass you
c.
Of being feminine – God made you
feminine, be what God designed you to be!
d.
Of your words
e.
How you sit! Guys don’t really have to
worry, but ladies do!
f.
How you walk – are you attracting too
many looks? You should have TWO ways of dressing, walking, and talking
1)
One to those outside the bedroom
2)
And another inside the bedroom!
5.
"Discreetly" refers to morally control
yourself, to keeping passions, especially sexual passions, under control until
married. 1Peter 3:3-6 gives similar instruction to women.
6.
Ladies…
a.
Are you careful how you talk to your
husband? Remember Vashti?
b.
Are you careful about how you talk to
your children?
c.
Are you careful how you dress and carry
yourself?
d.
Are you careful to show preference to
your husband when he is around?
7.
The older ladies in this church are SO
NEEDED for our current generation! NO ONE IS useless in Bible Christianity!
8.
Think about what you are doing ladies
IV.
Conclusion
A.
This month we ALL are taking on some
homework
1.
Men, we are focusing on loving our wives
like Christ loved the church
2.
Children, in obeying and honouring our
parents
3.
Ladies, in developing our homes, not
destroying them
B.
This morning, we have looked at four
things to be doing this week as homework
1.
Work that is supposed to be done in your
home
2.
Work in your home that will strengthen
your home, and probably save your home
C.
What are those four things?
1.
to be sober
2.
to love their husbands
3.
to love their children
4.
to be discreet
D.
Why is all of that so important?
1.
Because NOT doing these things will not
only hurt your home, but cause the world around us to only reject and blaspheme
the words of eternal life!
2.
People are rejecting God’s word
3.
Blaspheming His word
4.
Mocking His ways
5.
And it is partly due to Christian
women’s way of living!
E.
Our actions at home should adorn (make
beautiful) the doctrine of God (Titus 2:10)
F.
Those actions should provoke people to
be amazed at the wisdom and rightness of God (1Pet 2:12; 3:16) in how a home
should run!
G.
That will be the proof that you have
done your homework ladies!!!
H.
Next week we will look at the last four
I.
Don’t give up on God so soon ladies! You
cannot do any of this without Jesus in your lives (John 15:5)
1.
Do you know Him?
2.
Has He been allowed to step into YOUR
life and start over with you?
3.
Have you repented and asked Jesus to
save your lost, selfish soul?
4.
Have you been born again the Bible way?
5.
Today you can be!