THE CHRISTIAN FAMILY

A Study of God's Greatest Reflection of Himself

Lesson Fourteen

Memory Verse:  1 Corinthians 12:27                                   Lesson Verse: Genesis 2:24

I.         Introduction - No Greater Responsibility Than in Having a Godly Family!

A.      The Biblical type of family is the most fundamental unit in a society! Without strong, godly families, a nation is doomed (Psalm 9:17)!

B.       When God made this world, He completed His creation with a man - but He did not create him to be alone (Gen 2:18). God created man to exist as a family. Before there were cities, thrones, space programs, banks, churches, cars, or armies, there was the family! Truly, we humans have "come a long way," but since the garden, it hasn't been the right way!

C.       This lesson will introduce the Christian to the Biblical structure of the family and the home. It is intended to help the Christian to transform their family life into the greatest reflection of God possible!

II.       The Family Unit - What is a Family?

A.      When the world tries to define a “family,” it constantly has to change and adapt its definition to fit people’s changing attitudes. Yet, God has given us a perfect, and never changing pattern for us to adapt to: the example of Himself!

B.       Notice God’s titles: the _______, the Word (the Son), and the Holy Ghost (1Jn 5:7). These three “Persons” exist as one unit. So is it to be in a human family, because mankind was designed like God is (Gen 1:26,27)!

C.       Every human has three “parts”: a body, _______, and spirit (1 Thes 5:23).

D.      Every family has three “parts”: the father, mother, and the children. There are only three. The exceptions are when a person is not married (when a person is single, he or she is still part of the family that they were born into), and when there are no children in a relationship. These are “exceptions” - they should not become the norm!

E.       Either you are single and under your parents, or are married and have your own children (or at least wish you could have children).

F.       Both of these places are right, and a blessing to be in. Don’t let the world try to mould you to its definition of life, family, and so-called happiness (see Prov 17:1; 15:17; 21:19).

III.     Being Single

A.      Being single is best, but is not for everybody (Mt 19:10-12; 1Cor 7:32,33).

B.       If a person is single, they should not ______ to be married, but seek to honour and glorify God (1Cor 7:27; Mt 6:33), trusting He will direct their path to the person they should marry (Ps 37:4) as He did Adam (Gen 2:18-23).

C.       Don’t be discouraged if you feel too old to be married, or past your prime! God brought a wife to Isaac when he was ___ years old (Gen 25:20)!

D.      If you lost your mate, then stop worrying about it, and serve God until He shows you who will take their place. God will take care of you (Heb 13:5).

IV.   Courtship and Marriage

1. God's Purpose in Marriage - Study these!

1.        Companionship (Gen 2:18) - Throughout creation, God balanced everything out - He created two of everything (to everything, there is a positive, and a negative; a true and a false; a light and a darkness; an up and a down; a male and a female, etc). When He created Adam, He was not finished, but knew Adam needed companionship (ie, someone that he could intimately relate to - who was just like himself). God created someone who would think like Adam, and understand Adam. None of the rest of creation could relate to Adam (Gen 2:19-23).

2.        Completeness (Gen 2:18) - God did not just give Adam a “buddy” or “friend”, but a “completer” (ie, someone who matched Adam’s needs like a glove does a hand). Eve was not to be another Adam, but to be what Adam was NOT, and to “compliment” him, as he complimented her! She was called a _________, meeting his needs.

3.        Enjoyment (Heb 13:4) - The marriage relationship is the most enjoyed of all relationships because of the intimacy of companionship and completeness! Marriage is not a duty, but a thrill, and it never gets dull when based upon God’s pattern! The key is that the couple must operate within God’s limits so that trust is always maintained.

4.        Fruitfulness (Gen 1:28; 9:1; 1 Pet 3:7). The natural result of intimacy is fruit: children, growth, and blessing! This is true in our relationship with our spouse (Gen 4:1), and with Jesus (Philp 3:10)! Marriage produces fruit in each partner, but also in children (Ps 127:3-5).

5.        Protection - The purpose of any godly relationship is for the benefit of the people in the relationship - not their destruction. Adam needed Eve at times, and she supplied that need as she protected his weakness. Eve needed Adam at times, and he was to supply that need as he protected her weakness (Eph 5:25-29; Eccl 4:9-12).

6.        Representation - The Christian marriage relationship is to present a living portrayal of the loving relationship between Jesus Christ and believers (Ephesians 5:31-33).

2. How God Sees Marriage

1.        As good. "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a ________ thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord." (Prov 18:22). Marriage is not outdated, or old-fashioned. It is the greatest relationship, and is honoured by God!

2.        As pure. In marriage, the bed is ______________. (Heb 13:4) - it is wonderful, and a blessing, and just what God designed it to be. It is not to be a place of fear, or of wickedness, but of joy, and blessing (Prov 5:18,19; Song 7:7-12)

3.        As enduring. "The Lord, the God of Israel saith that he hateth _________________." (Malachi 2:16). Only by seeing how God hates adultery and divorce can we see the seriousness of marriage (Mt 19:3)!

4.        As meeting each other’s needs (1 Cor 7:3-5; 32-34). The one person who is best able to meet your needs is the one who knows you best! The purpose of marriage is not to “obtain” but to “supply,” knowing your own needs will be provided for in the process!

5.        As built upon friendship, and communication - not on requirements, and expectations. The marriage relationship starts with friendship, and is built upon trust. If a person’s mate is not their best friend, then the foundation of the marriage is flawed, and can collapse (Song 5:16)

6.        God sees marriage as a covenant (a binding commitment) that makes their relationship the priority human relationship in life (Matt 19:3-6; Gen 2:24). Marriage is not an experiment! Marriage is a total commitment, and a total sharing of the total person with another until death. This most wonderful of relationships both confines and yet fulfills the human heart!

3. Courtship or Dating (Psalm 34:3) – A Good marriage proposal

1.        A Comparison

Understanding and applying the following guidelines will result not only in a marriage pleasing to God, but also one that will be the most rewarding for ourselves. It provides the foundation for winning the world for Christ.

2.        Right Focus (Col. 3:17; 1 Cor. 10:31) - in marriage, as well as every other area of life, our purpose is to _________  ______.

a.        If something is contrary to the will of God, then we must mortify it (Lk 9:23,24) – reject it as dead!

b.       If our focus is to bring God the glory, then we must be careful to find the right spouse, His way. And, be willing to wait on God to provide the right spouse.

3.        Right People (Gen 2:18)

a.        God specifically created a ____ for Adam that was suitable for him.

b.       Two people are not equals (God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve) but rather complements; i.e., each possessed mutually affirming gifts, strengths and insights. Each was incomplete without the other. Each person had qualities that the other needed to fulfill his duties before God.

4.        Right Counsel (Pr 23:22; 20:18)

a.        Dating is a modern substitute for wise counsel and lots of prayer!

b.       Too many parents do not really know their children because by the time that their kids become teenagers, they spend virtually no time with them.

1)       Someone else has educated them (the public schools)

2)       Someone else has instructed them spiritually (Sunday school, youth group, traveling revivalists, "Christian" rock artists, etc.)

3)       And someone else has been their intimate confidant (friends, neighbors, peers, etc.).

c.        But if parents have fulfilled their Biblical role faithfully, they should know their children better than anyone else in the world. They should have 20-odd years of experience with their children, know their moods, tempers, gifts, weaknesses. And hence they are providentially equipped to be in the best position to advise their children about what kind of person they should be courting. When a child reaches the age where courting is now appropriate, parents and child should sit down and do a frank analysis of both themselves and potential partners.

5.        Right Mind (Philp 2:1,2)

a.        The first thing to be in motion when courting is having a right MIND – not only following your heart or emotions.

b.       The mind of Christ seeks to not only find fulfillment, but to fulfill other lives sacrificially, as a servant of others.

c.        Your MIND must be in charge of the relationship, over the heart (Jer 17:9) because the heart will get you in trouble if allowed to do what it wants.

6.        Right Heart (Philp 2:3-4)

a.        The goal of any relationship is ministry, not manipulation. We are not to seek to have our own needs met, but rather meet the needs of others. Yet usually marriages are made because young people think that a certain person will meet their "needs." Instead, we must see life as a process of giving up rights, and taking on responsibilities.

b.       A single person MUST learn how to be "other-oriented" in their thinking. Otherwise they are only going to be a taker in the relationship, and a destroyer of the relationship!

c.        Selfishness, pure and simple, is the cause of most marital disasters.

d.       Both man and woman must make genuine sacrifices to make a godly marriage. If one or both of the people are not ready or able to make those sacrifices, then they are not suitable marriage partners.

1)       Husbands must be willing to give themselves up for their wives. Husbands don’t just need a wife in order to succeed, they succeed first by sacrificially ministering to their wives!

2)       Wives must submit themselves to their husbands. You had better make sure your husband is worthy of submitting to!

7.        Right Qualifications (Eph 5:22-f; Prov 31:12-f; 1Pet 3:1-7)

a.        The best indicator of future performance is past performance. If you want to know what a person is going to be like in the future, just take a long, hard look at where he has been. Now it is the grace and glory of the gospel that God transforms sinners. Yet even so, when deciding on who is or is not suitable as a mate for our children, the past is a great indicator of what they can expect down the road.

b.       Therefore, look for potential husbands who possess leadership ability. Does he know his calling and is he working diligently at it?

1)       God’s law required a man to pay a bride’s father roughly equivalent to three years' labor. This quickly demonstrated:

a)       That the boy can save and manage money and thus financially provide for the family (1 Tim 5:8).

b)       That the boy respects the wife enough to sacrifice his own current wants for the building of a home.

2)       The Bible asks:

a)       Is he good father material (Col 3:19-21, Eph 6:1-2)? Look at his own father for insights as to how he will handle frustration, anger, fear, etc. Does the boy's father trust his wife, love her (Eph 5:21ff ), nurture and care for her (Pr 31:11), granting her honour as a fellow heir (1 Pet 3:7), understanding her and being gentle with her (1 Pet 3:7)? The way the boy's father treats his mother is likely the same way he will treat you or your daughter.

b)       Is he a one-woman man (1Tim 3:2) or has he had lots of entanglements that could come back and haunt you both?

c)       Is the boy sensible (Tit 2:6) and does he possess the general godly character qualities of an elder (1 Tim 3:1-ff.)? If not, then no matter how friendly, charming or attractive, look somewhere else.

c.        In the same way, potential wives should be:

1)       Submissive in spirit (Eph 5:21-22) and respectful in their attitude and demeanor. Most women are extremely assertive because of the training of the feminists!

2)       After marriage, they are to be sensible, workers at home, kind, loving their husbands and children (cf. Tit 2:3-5).

3)       They are able to do good to their husbands because they are industrious, charitable, skilled in their work, well-dressed (modestly so), good managers of resources and, of course, they must fear God (cf. 1 Tim 2:9-10, 1 Pet 3:3-4, Pr 31:22,30).

4)       If a woman lacks the qualities necessary for any of these before marriage, there is no way of knowing if she will ever develop them afterwards. Therefore, parents ought to make it a point to examine potential mates according to objective, Biblical criteria. If they don't meet the qualifications, then no matter how attractive they are, they are not suitable for marriage.

8.        Right Distance (1Cor 7:1-5; Gen 2:24) – VERY IMPORTANT!

a.        If all the other issues are dealt with, then this issue will be easy. If the heart is not submissive to God’s way, then no amount of warnings, and walls will stop two people from committing fornication.

b.       There is a right amount of distance that must be maintained between two unmarried people (Pr 6:27-29) – no touching. Touching, clinging, cleaving to each other is for when married – period!

c.        If you start to violate this principal, no amount of determination and repenting will stop you from God’s judgment (Heb 13:4)!

9.        Conclusions

a.        Parents must nurture these truths into their young children

b.       Young men and women need to evaluate just how much they are willing to “wait” until marriage, and to let God prepare them for this most important of all life’s treasures – a family!

c.        The fruit of living godly is eternal. The pleasures of sin, are only for a season!

4. Principles of a Happy Marriage

1.        Make sure both persons are ________________ (Matthew 7:21-27; John 3:3,7; Amos 3:3)! No Christian should ever think that they can be happy married to someone who doesn’t care about Christ! It is next to impossible to change a person after marriage!

a.        A woman marries a man, hoping he will change, but he doesn’t.

b.       A man marries a woman hoping she never changes, and she does!

2.        Give 100%! The marriage life is NOT 50/50, but rather 100/100% of each partner! You no longer are two persons, but ONE (Gen 2:24)!

3.        Delete from your vocabulary words like: hate, divorce, mine, yours! Don't remain angry, or vengeful with you mate (Eph 4:26,27), but rather take the time and talk the problem through until it gets settled! This takes prayer, and humility on your part (Pr 16:32)! Study 1 Corinthians 13 together, and implement each phrase into your relationship!

4.        Have a LOT of grace (tolerance) with each other (1Pet 4:8; Heb 12:28)!

5.        Both must agree to submit to the Biblical pattern for their home as found in the word of God, with the husband as the loving head of the home, the wife as the pleasant help participating in decisions, yet not forcing her way, and the children in nurtured obedience. The husband himself must be in submission to the word of God (1 Cor 11:3).

6.        Look forward to ___________. Focus your energies no longer on yourselves, but rather on raising God's heritage (Ps 127:3). Don’t spend time worrying about affording children, but on loving them!

7.        Burn the bridges back to your single life! Your mother should not "keep your room," and you should destroy all the letters and notes you may have from old lovers! You cannot serve _____ masters (Mt 6:24)!

8.        Realize that your marriage and your family is your FIRST ministry, before your job, your church, or even your self! This is the hardest task! And yet the most enduring, and rewarding!

9.        Have a family Bible-time (Deut 6:6-9)! This means a time where you and your family sit down together and read out of the Bible for about ten or fifteen minutes, and then you pray for each member of the family. Have different members of the family pray each time. Sometimes, act out what is being taught in the Bible. Always make it a special time. The goal is to develop a godly home atmosphere all day!

10.     Romance your mate regularly (Gen 26:6-8; 1 Cor 7:1-3). Continue to date each other, admire one another, woo each other's attention, read the Song of Solomon together; purchase your wife flowers! Do crazy things just to show each other how crazy you still are for them!

11.     Listen to one another (Eph 5:21), without grudging (Eph 4:31,32)! There MUST be specific time set aside for each other, just where you talk and listen to each other’s heart concerns, gripes, dreams, etc.

12.     Purpose to have times of fun with just your family, weekly! This is so important to their emotional health! It lets them know that they mean something to you, and that you really find joy with them, instead of only out of the house!

V.    The Dangers in Marriage

Marriage by nature can be full of problems because there is more than one flawed human being in the relationship! But God has balanced that out thankfully, when He is invited to be the focus of the relationship.

1. Wrong Expectations (Mt 11:7-9, 16-19). This is the source of the majority of problems in marriages. People expect things of each other, and when those expectations are not met, problems arise (Ps 62:5; 37:4; Pr 11:7).

How to defeat wrong expectations:

1.        Learn from Christ what He wants of YOU! Focus on becoming what Christ intended for you to be, instead of what you think He meant for your mate to be! Surrender your expectations to the Lord, and love your mate as a gift from Him.

2.        Begin to nourish and develop your spouse into the best that they can be - not brow-beating, or nagging them, but encouraging, and equipping them with what they need to be their best!

3.        Communicate. Tell your mate what you need, and listen to the needs of your mate. Learn about each other. Don’t just demand!

4.        Then start meeting your spouses needs, instead of so desperately wanting him or her to meet yours!

2. Stubbornness - not yielding - not allowing God to change you in any way BY your partner. God put the two of you together NOT because both of you were already perfect, and were in need of nothing, but because each of you, when combined, made a stronger team than any one individual could have ever been! God wants BOTH people in a marriage to affect each other for good (James 4:6). Both partners MUST allow the other person the authority to help mould and shape them (1 Cor 7:4; Eph 5:21; 1 Pet 5:5).

3. Over-sensitivity. Intimacy naturally means vulnerability. And vulnerability oftentimes means hurt (Ezek 16:45). Extreme emotional hurt must be given to God (Isa 53:3,4). Don’t take it upon you to revenge any hurt you may receive from your partner. You must learn to take the situation as God’s way of getting you to rely on Him to handle the “pay-back.” He assures us that He will do a very good job of it (Rom 12:17-21). In other words, suffer ______ (1 Cor 13:4), and endure some ___________ (2 Tim 2:3), and develop the ability to love and be _______ when the other person does not deserve it (Eph 4:31,32), simply because that is how God treats you!

4. Complacency. Your relationship with your spouse is a living, and growing relationship - it never sits idle. It is either growing closer, or farther apart, based upon your efforts. The lack of effort by BOTH people will result in decay setting in. Vigilance must be maintained. There is never a time that a person can just sit back and say, “I got it made. Everything is perfectly under control.” This is not to say that you should be happy with a relationship out of control (1 Cor 14:40). In other words, work hard at your relationship. Don’t just take it for granted, and draw from it, while not investing into it! Both of you must work at this!

5. Being focused on short-term gratification. This is where evolution has taught 99% of all married couples that they are in a relationship only to get. And instant gratification turns into demand. And demand creates slavery. And slaves revolt! Maturity is required in the heart and desires of each partner so that gratification is found in supplying the others’ needs before themselves (1 Cor 7:33,34; Acts 20:35). At the start of any marriage, it is expected that the two people will not automatically know how to give more than they get, but over time, this attribute should fully develop!

6. Disrespect. This is vital to conquer (Eph 5:33; 1 Pet 3:1-6)! Honour each other, and ________ each other ______ than themselves (Phlp 2:3)! Disrespect is formed by distrust. Therefore, have very short memories about past failures, and always completely forgive each other when asked (Lk 17:3,4; Heb 10:17). This will allow you to maintain respect and praise for your mate even though they are imperfect. Keep your love and respect fresh (like God does, Lam 3:22,23). Both of you are commanded to work at earning and maintaining each other’s trust! If the other person has problems with you, then YOU better deal with those problems (Mt 5:23,24)!

VI.   The Role of The Husband/Father (Prov 17:6) – To Be A Team Leader!

A.    A husband is to ___________ his wife (Eph 5:25) as he loves his own __________ (Eph 5:28,33). This is the main problem with most families! God directs most of His words at men because men are stubborn and rebellious, and need the most encouragement to do right!

B.    The pattern for this kind of love is to be as _______________ loved the ______________ (Eph 5:25) when He died so we could live! A wife will only thrive spiritually when her husband loves her beyond everything else!

C.    This love will be shown by a husband accepting his responsibility to be the ____________ of his wife and family (Eph 5:23). The Husband is the head of the home positionally (1 Cor 11:3), leading, and making the important decisions with his wife's input (he is not dictator). The head of the man is __________! Therefore, how can a man expect his wife to be in submission to his decisions, if he himself is not in submission to God's word?!!!

D.    The purpose of a husband's love is shown in how Christ gave Himself for the church that He might _________ and __________ it with the washing of water by the ________ (Eph 5:25,26). Therefore, the husband is responsible for maintaining the wife’s purity and love for God, by not damaging her emotionally, physically, or spiritually! He is to care for, and nurture his wife and family like a farmer does his soil and plants!

E.     According to 1Peter 3:7, a husband must:

1.     Dwell with (live with, spend time with, get intimate with, but not dominate) his wife according to _______________ - i.e., he will work to know her needs, and weaknesses, and strengths, and seek to build her up and strengthen her.

2.     Give “_______” to his wife (only in Biblical Christianity is the woman elevated to that of royalty). Do this in public! That’s an order! Listen to your wife! Include her in the decisions, and allow her to be right!

3.     He will recognize that she also is an _________ of the grace of life - she is just as important, and as much a beneficiary of God’s gift of children, and family, and life itself as the husband is!

F.     If a husband loves his wife, he will not allow himself to get ____________ against her (Col 3:19), and will work to keep her from getting bitter against him! But remember, the two of them must work together at this!

VII. The Role of the Wife

A.    God made the woman as an ______ meet for the man (Gen 2:18).

        Define help: _________________________________________________ The word ‘meet’ means match, or fitting to his needs (Mt 3:8; 2Tim 2:21).

B.    God made the woman _______ the man (1Cor 11:9).

C.    A woman is to ___________ herself to her husband. (Eph 5:22).

1.     A wife is supposed to be subject to her husband in ________________ (Eph 5:24). If she is not married, then to her father.

2.     One exception to this is that we ought to obey _____________ rather than __________. (Acts 5:29). The wife is to disobey when the husband gets abusive or directs her to go against the word of God.

3.     A man will not respect a woman who does not respect and obey God more than she does him. And for sure, a woman will not respect a man who does not respect and obey God more than his selfish wants!

D.    The wife is also to _______________ her husband (Eph. 5:33). She is to honour her husband as she should honour Christ.

E.     According to 1Peter 3:1,2, a woman should have a chaste _____________ (her life and language should show forth purity) coupled with ________, not disrespect. The woman should not live in fear of her husband, but in fear of falling short of God’s design for her and her husband.

F.     A woman should have a __________ (soft) and __________ spirit (1Peter 3:3,4). She needs to refrain from a loud, clamorous, demeaning, and nagging attitude (Prov 21:9, 19).

G.    God said to the first woman (Eve) that her __________ would be to her husband and that he would _______ over her (Gen. 3:16). This is part of the curse that Satan brought into the world, but it also is part of the way that God designed the Christian woman to defeat Satan by his own devices

VIII.  Children - The MOST intensive (and rewarding) part of a family’s energies

A.    What Are Children as far as God is Concerned?  In marriage, children are an _____________ of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is his _________ (Ps 127:3). Therefore, they are an opportunity for Christians to raise up a Godly generation! Why is it that Christians want all of God’s blessings, except for children?! Children are God’s greatest blessing that He offers us! Remember the blessing of being HIS children!

B.    Establishing A Child’s Proper Relationship with God.

1.     A child can and should trust Christ at a very young age (2 Tim 3:15)!

2.     Fathers are not to _____________ their children, but bring them up in the ____________ (tender training) and ___________________ (encouragement) of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). Therefore, it is the responsibility of the father to instruct his children in spiritual things - it is not the church's, school’s, or the Government's job! Provoking children (yelling at them) only _________________ them (Col 3:21)

3.     A parent should teach the word of God ______________ unto their children (Deut. 6:6,7). That means with a lot of time and effort!

4.     List the four areas that a child should mature and develop in, according to Luke 2:52 (note: it is the parent’s job to develop these areas)

a. ________________________ - Bible learning and general education

b. ________________________ - healthy eating and exercise

c. ________________________ - pleasing to God – living by faith

d. ________________________ - a blessing to others – hard working

C.    Disciplining Children - The orderly and controlled manner of training

1.     Children are commanded to _______ their parents (Eph 6:1), and not just in a few things but in ______ things (Col 3:20). Teach them this!

2.     Parents are God's representatives to their children. The fifth commandment (Exodus 20:12) commands children to ________ their parents. The home is the training ground for the children, and there must be a consistent, spiritual atmosphere there for them to be able to see how to live, and what is expected of them.

3.     Learn from your _________ (Prov 13:1; 6:20)! Don't waste your life trying to prove you know better! Talk to them, and listen to them!

4.     Our example in this is the Lord. "Whom the Lord ____________, He chasteneth” (Hebrews 12:6) which means, “corrects” not punishes!

5.     Is chastening supposed to be pleasant? _____ (Heb 12:11)

6.     God chastens us as His children in order for us to be partakers of His _________________ (Hebrews 12:10). That is the purpose of parental correction - to mature a child, and develop in them godliness!

7.     The pattern in discipline - note that the Bible emphasizes correction, and not just punishment (Prov 22:15):

a.     Set down clear and understandable rules in your home! Let your children know what is expected of them, and what will happen if they disobey. They don't need to live in fear of you!

b.     Identify each violation - they have to know what they did wrong. Give patient and clear instructions when the child does wrong.

c.     "Chasten thy son while there is ______" (Prov 19:18). Don’t get into the habit of letting them “slide” by in their disobedience. It will come back and haunt you later!

d.     Never yell or threaten! Speak firmly and exact the punishment right away (Eccl 8:11)! Don't repeat commands, and don't count!

e.     Use a "rod." Not the hand, or a board, or a belt. A Rod is a small branch off a tree that stings but does not bruise.

f.      Love your children after each time of chastening. This is a must!

8.     Reasons why a parent should discipline their children

a.     Correction delivers the soul from ________ (Prov 23:13,14)

b.     Correction establishes righteousness. "_______________ is bound in the heart of a child, but the ___________ of correction will drive it far from him." (Prov 22:15)

c.     "A child left to himself bringeth his _______ to ______"  (Pr 29:15)

d.     Correction provides ________ for the parent. (Prov 29:17)

9      Some tips for disciplining children:

a.     There is a certain method God gives parents to use in discipline. "Thou shalt _______________ him with the ______________." (Prov 23:14) Corrective use of a “stick”, not being abusive.

b.     He that loveth his children chastens them _____________ (Prov 13:24). This means early before their character is formed, and over and over (not just on occasion).

c.     Should a parent withhold discipline when a child starts to cry? ________ (Prov 19:18). The child is smarter than you think!

d.     Recognize children do not become perfect with one spanking - discipline is a long term process.

e.     Never withdraw affection and love from your children.

f.      Never spank in anger or out of embarrassment (Eccl 7:9)!

g.     Never compare children with other children - this crushes them!

h.     Don't ridicule or make fun of their weaknesses or handicaps.

i.      Allow children to express their viewpoint, keeping avenues of communication open. Let them know they are important to you!

j.      Admit mistakes when you make them. Live honestly and humbly.

k.     Give them nothing they cry for, and only that which they ask for politely. Don't be afraid to say "no" to your children when they want things that they do not need.

l.      Be creative in your discipline - as they grow older:

1)     Restrict (ground) them from activities

2)     Give additional chores

3)     Restrict them from the telephone or other important items

D.    Training Children (Titus 2:1-4; Eph 6:4) "Bring them UP…"

1.     In their thoughts. Have a Bible-centered home, with lots of Scripture and good books surrounding them. Also, HAVE DAILY DEVOTIONS!

2.     In their daily walk. Help them choose good friends, work on their composure, as well as to be clean, and look clean.

3.     In their talk. Develop their manners (to be courteous and say "please," and "thank you," and "may I").