God’s Design for the Family

The Way a Home Can Thrive

Mt 12:46-50

DATE: Sept 4, 2005  AM

PLACE: BBC Ballincollig


I.         Introduction (Gen 2:18)


A.      Still continuing in our attempt to swap-out faulty aspects of our lives with the perfect life of Jesus Christ – that is our goal this year and it is attainable!

B.       This month we look at the Home-Life of our Lord

C.       We would all agree that our homes need some serious work – some spiritual transfusion of heart and love and maturity

D.      It is only going to come from the Lord Jesus Christ, and His home-life is enough to revolutionize our view of the home and make the changes necessary to not only survive but thrive in this very wicked day and hour!

E.       Goals this month is for all of us to…


1.        Learn God’s Design for the Family – conform our homes to His pattern, His shape and form of such a wondrous thing

2.        Have Love and Forbearance for Each Other – next week!

3.        Deal with Rebellion and Stubbornness in the family – rough stuff ahead!!!

4.        Develop and Enjoy Protective Boundaries for Every Home


II.       Message – God’s Design for the Family


A.      The Pattern of the Family (Mt 19:4)


1.        God designed the family


a.        Just as He amazingly designed the DNA of every cell in your body, and every star of every galaxy in the universe, so also has He designed the family! It is a mess from our vantage point, but His blue-print is perfect!

b.       God tells us exactly what a family is, who it consists of, and how it operates – not up to the government, or opinion polls

c.        A group attacking the Biblical position against homosexuality said, “A marriage is precisely what a government defines it to be: no more, no less.” That is the mantra of today’s society: things (good and evil) are only what we want decide them to be! No God need apply!


2.        God shows us JUST what a family is in three specific ways:


a.        By showing us HIMSELF as a Trinity of Persons, and yet One unit

b.       By showing us the life of His Son living in a real family

c.        By bringing us into something called the family of God


3.        The Trinity on Heaven


a.        The Place of the people in a family (Mt 28:19)



1)       Father               Father/Husband         Authority of the Home

2)       Son                   Children                       Action of the Home

3)       Holy Ghost      Mother/Wife               Attitude of the Home


b.       The Functions of the people in a family


1)       The Authority Person – the Dad


a)       God works through authority – the world doesn’t – loves anarchy, but God ONLY works through authority

b)       God ordained the man to be the head of the home

c)       Gentlemen, learn to lead!

d)       Ladies, LET your man lead

e)       Children – follow – full stop!


2)       The Active Person in the Home – the Children


a)       The persons God has ordained to be on the go, and adventurous and full of energy are the children

b)       God sent His SON to finish His work

c)       The children in a family are to be learning how to WORK and work hard – too easy today to be lazy in our homes

d)       Mom and Dad need sons and daughters who work hard and help and carry some of the load if families are going to survive

e)       La 3:27  It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.

f)        The activity of the young person is directed and limited by the authority just as Christ’s was


3)       The Attitude Person of the Home – the Mom


a)       There is one person that God has ordained to be in charge of the atmosphere of the home – the Mom

b)       Just as the Holy Spirit sets the mood of the Christian – joy – so also is the Mom supposed to set the mood of the home

c)       Have you noticed just how much the mood of the Mom and Wife is under attack so much today – so most are only bitter and angry, and the home suffers

d)       Jesus’ whole attitude was set by the Holy Spirit, not by the events of life

e)       Oh that mom’s would take their attitudes in the home seriously and make sure their attitudes rightly affect the attitudes of each member in the home for good!


c.        God wants our homes to have each person in their rightful places in order for them to thrive and succeed – when one is out, the family can only hobble along


4.        The Life of Jesus Christ on Earth


a.        Literally born into a FAMILY


1)       Step daddy named Joseph

2)       Mommy named Mary

3)       Jesus was in all things “subject to them” earthly, flawed parents

4)       Just as He was submitted towards His heavenly Father


b.       Had half-brothers and half-sisters (Mt 13:54-57)

c.        WHY DO THAT? To give us a perfect example of being a part of a family – that it can be done, and enjoyed!


5.        The Family of God (Mt 12:46-50)


a.        More important to Jesus than his own physical half-brothers and sisters and even His mother are THOSE WHO LIVE TO DO HIS WILL!

b.       Think about it! If someone came in here and claimed to be physically related to Jesus – I would go “Ho Hum!” Why?!

c.        Because THAT relationship is ONLY physical

d.       I was born again right into the very family of God, with Jesus being the eldest Son of God, and me as a joint heir with Jesus!!!

e.        That’s why Christians call each other “brother” and “sister” (Col 4:7)


6.        Christians MUST Reject any modern Redefinitions and Perversions!


a.        God says MARRIAGE is honourable – any other form of relationship is wicked and will be judged by God (Heb 13:4)


1)       Homosexuality (1Cor 6:9-11)

2)       Celibacy (1Tim 3:1,4-5; 4:1-3)

3)       Promiscuity – sex outside of marriage


b.       By-the-way, it is not intolerant to express strong biblical positions with humility and conviction


B.       The Four Purposes of the Family


1.        To Represent God in this world


a.        Not an antiquated concept whose time has come and gone

b.       The Family is perfectly designed by God

c.        A family is designed to represent what God is like and how He thinks and what He wants


1)       God is like the love of a groom for his new bride

2)       God is also like the angry dad who has found trouble in the home

3)       God is also tender and compassionate like Moms are to be

4)       God is also patient


d.       Our families, as we have learned, are just like the Trinity


2.        To Reproduce - to fill the world - grow and mature instead of hide and die


a.        Families may have times of struggle, and sometimes even set-backs

b.       But are intended to grow, mature and fill up every area of this world – we were designed to conquer and dominate this world


1)       Build homes in tough areas

2)       Eek out a living in spite of harsh conditions


c.        Families should have children, and grandchildren and great-grandchildren – don’t ever be afraid of having what God calls “His Reward” (Ps 127)

d.       The world is filling up with the children of disobedience

e.        It is important that we fill this world up with obedient and respectful and hard working and godly children


3.        To Ready (Train) the Next Generation (Dt 6:4-9)


a.        Not the job of the school or the government, or even the church

b.       Thank God for churches that prod the parents and equip them to train up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord

c.        It is the task of FAMILIES to train their children in the things of God

d.       Thank God for families that follow their Daddy as he follows Christ (Acts 16:30,31; 18:8)


4.        To Really Show Love


a.        It is in a home that people should know love, and experience it constantly

b.       Not like any kind of love that can be shown in any other area of life


1)       Called family love - Brotherly kindness

2)       Strong love – love that can endure a lot

3)       Committed love

4)       Forgiving love

5)       Abundant love


C.       The Pleasure of a Family (Pr 5:18; 3Jn 1:4)


1.        There are truly lots of heartaches in the day-to-day running of a family – all are part of the curse (Gen 3:13-16)

2.        Yet, families still are such a blessing, and worth being a part of, and protecting as shown in all the families that God shows us in His word

3.        Please folks, look forward to getting married, and having children, and being a part of a family that CAN and MUST be brought under the authority of Christ


a.        There is nothing harder than raising a godly family – and yet there is nothing more rewarding!!!

b.       There is nothing greater than to see your own kids get saved and love God and learn how to serve Him with all their heart


D.      The Problems of a Family and How to Overcome Them


1.        Realize it contains at least two imperfect people – so learn how to effectively forebear and love each other

2.        Intercede for each other and for families in general (the forgotten mission-field) – that each and everyone may know God, love God, and enjoy God fully (1Pet 3:1-6)

3.        Reject and Resist the influences of the devil – limit and restrict them

4.        Respect and Honour people in your family because of their position and because it is right (Tit 2:5) – not because they are worthy!!!

5.        Draw all the strength and love that you need from your own personal relationship with the Lord Jesus – no or little relationship with Jesus will not cut it! You will run-out of ability and love without saturation in Christ


III.     Conclusion


A.      Today, We Have Seen…


1.        The Pattern of the Family (Mt 19:4) God shows us JUST what a family is in three specific ways:


a.        By showing us HIMSELF as a Trinity of Persons, and yet One unit

b.       By showing us the life of His Son living in a real family

c.        By bringing us into something called the family of God


2.        The Four Purposes of the Family


a.        To Represent God in this world

b.       To Reproduce – to fill the world – to grow

c.        To Ready (Train) the Next Generation (Dt 6:4-9)

d.       To Really Show Love


3.        The Pleasure of a Family (Pr 5:18; 3Jn 1:4)

4.        The Problems of a Family and How to Overcome Them


B.       Are you willing to step back in the spiritual boxing ring called Life, and go back to battle for the most important thing in your life – YOUR FAMILY?

C.       It starts with a commitment to do things God’s way, obeying His word and trusting it will work!


Craig Ledbetter

Bible Baptist Church, Ballincollig, Cork, Ireland