Testimony of Martin M

Jeremiah 29:13 “And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart


My Background

I was brought up a catholic first of all in England where I was born and then in Ireland from the age of 10. When in my teens I went to a catholic boarding school where we were compelled to go to mass each morning. Somehow the catholic way with all the rituals, grandeur and statues never did appeal to me and somehow I avoided becoming enmeshed in the catholic groove. In school I remember looking for light or godly wisdom from the priests but never did receive any. I perceived these men were caught up in a traditional religious system and I found no joy in them. Looking back I remember some students were placed into boarding school to give them a good foundation in life but many came out twice the child of hell than when they began. After graduating from school I remember trying to find a way that I could enjoy life and fit in with this world but in all the ways that the world offered I could not find joy. In fact I believe that if I continued on that course I would have had a nervous breakdown. 



At 19 years of age in my first year in engineering in college, I began to think more deeply on life. Amongst all the evil of the world I saw the beauty of creation.  I saw the contrast of good and evil, the good I loved and the evil I loathed. I associated all that was good with God. I had hundreds of questions but no answers and I sought to find God. Through much thought and reasoning I concluded that I had no cause to be joyful in my life except I knew I was going to heaven when I died. While shopping in Galway my mother had received a chick tract which he brought home. It was titled “Why is Mary crying”. Within it was the plan of salvation and to my knowledge was the first time I had heard it. I was amazed that somebody would be courageous enough to rock the system with such strong information as the tract contained. I would have liked to have learned more about who gave out the tract but it had no contact address on it so I kept it in a safe place under my bed. My search for God became a heart search and I searched for God with all my heart, so much so I could not study for my exams. I became more convicted of this sinful world and knew I was part of it.  I hated my sinful life and wanted to be right with God. I had such conviction of guilt and sorrow I could not remain as I was. I needed the love and forgiveness of God and so I yielded. One day in my bedroom I repented with all my heart and surrendered wholeheartedly my will to God. Later on in the evening I returned to my bedroom to spend some more time on the Lord and while lying down I opened up my heart to God. I was drawn to be with Him and to meditate on his goodness. This relationship between God and I had become clean and pure and He had given me a humble and contrite heart. Words cannot explain what love that God bestowed next on me, except to say it was the great and pure love of God filling my soul, wave after wave and of such intensity I recollect thinking I shall die if these waves continue to come over me. These waves continued until I said “ Lord, I cannot bear anymore. I had no fear of death as I knew this was God and I had found favour with Him and He so graciously assured me so. I knew this day that I was different, now God meant everything to me. This was a time of great joy yet God put it in my heart that I needed to know more of Him. 


Early days following Salvation

I tried to explain to my mother what had happened to me but she dismissed it, not being able to understand. I knew people had to know that they must repent, that this was the way to God. I met with a strange reaction when I spoke with one of my classmates. I prayed for wisdom and often turned to the book of proverbs in my catholic bible. I preferred this over the book of Wisdom which did not appeal to me to have good wisdom. Not being firmly grounded in the Word of God or unsure of my way I decided to be cautious.  I remember going to mass in search of someone like me but anyone that appeared to honour God did so in an outward manner. I could find no one who was changed inwardly. I desperately wanted to find somebody who knew God and I searched the library in college for a biography on a Godly man but found none. I came across a man called Eric Liddell but the information I had on him was mostly about his running career. The bookshops were void of anything Godly. Television programme offered nothing. During my search there were a lot of false roads put before me. Some eastern religions seemed to have wisdom but when I would quietly investigate I would find corruption at the root of all of them. Either they would not honour Jesus Christ or they would have men or Idols as their God.  Wisdom showed me to be cautious and not to make a move with something unless I was absolutely sure. I knew God wanted me wholeheartedly  so I had to find his sure way. I also knew I could not give God my full service in a religion or practice I was not sure of.     My conclusion was to anchor God in my heart so that I would never forsake Him or be turned away from Him by any deceivable.  I continued with my studies and hoped to know better which direction I should turn when I finished my degree.

During work experience in college I met a born again Christian for the first time. For the fist time I read John chapter 3 and could see in black and white in the words of Christ that which I had experienced 3 years previous.  I had now found something concrete to relate to others, a bible verifying that God calls men to repent and turn to the Lord Jesus and trust Him as Lord and Saviour.  Although  I was saved by the grace of God I was not yet firmly grounded in the Word of God and growth was very slow and painful. I was now reading the NIV and the church I had recently experienced (being charismatic) had some considerable faults and I knew it. Several years passed with busyness in making a living which included working abroad, my walk with the Lord suffered and I made some wrong decisions. It came to the point where I could no longer bear to live outside the will of God.


Assurance of Salvation

God knew I looked for something perfect to go on and within days after I had earnestly prayed that I re-dedicate my life to the Lord, He sent a Godly pastor, firmly equipped and established in the true Word of God. I put down my NIV and took up the Authorised King James Version and with much study and testing confirmed it to be the very Word of God which I could trust and believe with all my heart.  Line upon line, this Godly and faithful man helped build my faith on the Word of God. My growth in Christ accelerated which became very apparent to members of my family. With confidence by the grace of God, God enabled me to stand firmly when much trouble hit my life in an attempt to shake me from my stand. God in love, being the faithful potter, by chastisement, love and care continues to shape me to be as his Son Jesus Christ. Today I have the assurance of Salvation based on the promises of the very Word of God. I have been redeemed by the  precious blood of Jesus Christ who by one sacrifice, for all sin, forever, made it possible for me to have eternal life which is in Him. It is by his righteousness and not my own am I made righteous in the sight of God. Christ is my Lord and Saviour and I seek to love and serve him more and more as I grow in His likeness, my Saviour, Lord and friend.

Martin M