Testimony of Martin M
Jeremiah 29:13 “And ye shall seek me, and find
me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart”
I was brought up a catholic first of all in England
where I was born and then in Ireland from the age of 10. When in my teens I went
to a catholic boarding school where we were compelled to go to mass each
morning. Somehow the catholic way with all the rituals, grandeur and statues
never did appeal to me and somehow I avoided becoming enmeshed in the catholic
groove. In school I remember looking for light or godly wisdom from the priests
but never did receive any. I perceived these men were caught up in a traditional
religious system and I found no joy in them. Looking back I remember some
students were placed into boarding school to give them a good foundation in life
but many came out twice the child of hell than when they began. After graduating
from school I remember trying to find a way that I could enjoy life and fit in
with this world but in all the ways that the world offered I could not find joy.
In fact I believe that if I continued on that course I would have had a nervous
At 19 years of age in my first year in engineering in
college, I began to think more deeply on life. Amongst all the evil of the world
I saw the beauty of creation. I saw
the contrast of good and evil, the good I loved and the evil I loathed. I
associated all that was good with God. I had hundreds of questions but no
answers and I sought to find God. Through much thought and reasoning I concluded
that I had no cause to be joyful in my life except I knew I was going to heaven
when I died. While shopping in Galway my mother had received a chick tract which
he brought home. It was titled “Why is Mary crying”. Within it was the plan
of salvation and to my knowledge was the first time I had heard it. I was amazed
that somebody would be courageous enough to rock the system with such strong
information as the tract contained. I would have liked to have learned more
about who gave out the tract but it had no contact address on it so I kept it in
a safe place under my bed. My search for God became a heart search and I
searched for God with all my heart, so much so I could not study for my exams. I
became more convicted of this sinful world and knew I was part of it.
I hated my sinful life and wanted to be right with God. I had such
conviction of guilt and sorrow I could not remain as I was. I needed the love
and forgiveness of God and so I yielded. One day in my bedroom I repented with
all my heart and surrendered wholeheartedly my will to God. Later on in the
evening I returned to my bedroom to spend some more time on the Lord and while
lying down I opened up my heart to God. I was drawn to be with Him and to
meditate on his goodness. This relationship between God and I had become clean
and pure and He had given me a humble and contrite heart. Words cannot explain
what love that God bestowed next on me, except to say it was the great and pure
love of God filling my soul, wave after wave and of such intensity I recollect
thinking I shall die if these waves continue to come over me. These waves
continued until I said “ Lord, I cannot bear anymore. I had no fear of death
as I knew this was God and I had found favour with Him and He so graciously
assured me so. I knew this day that I was different, now God meant everything to
me. This was a time of great joy yet God put it in my heart that I needed to
know more of Him.
Early days following Salvation
I tried to explain to my mother what had happened to
me but she dismissed it, not being able to understand. I knew people had to know
that they must repent, that this was the way to God. I met with a strange
reaction when I spoke with one of my classmates. I prayed for wisdom and often
turned to the book of proverbs in my catholic bible. I preferred this over the
book of Wisdom which did not appeal to me to have good wisdom. Not being firmly
grounded in the Word of God or unsure of my way I decided to be cautious.
I remember going to mass in search of someone like me but anyone that
appeared to honour God did so in an outward manner. I could find no one who was
changed inwardly. I desperately wanted to find somebody who knew God and I
searched the library in college for a biography on a Godly man but found none. I
came across a man called Eric Liddell but the information I had on him was
mostly about his running career. The bookshops were void of anything Godly.
Television programme offered nothing. During my search there were a lot of false
roads put before me. Some eastern religions seemed to have wisdom but when I
would quietly investigate I would find corruption at the root of all of them.
Either they would not honour Jesus Christ or they would have men or Idols as
their God. Wisdom showed me to be cautious and not to make a move with
something unless I was absolutely sure. I knew God wanted me wholeheartedly
so I had to find his sure way. I also knew I could not give God my full
service in a religion or practice I was not sure of.
My conclusion was to anchor God in my heart so that I would never forsake
Him or be turned away from Him by any deceivable.
I continued with my studies and hoped to know better which direction I
should turn when I finished my degree.
During work experience in college I met a born again
Christian for the first time. For the fist time I read John chapter 3 and could
see in black and white in the words of Christ that which I had experienced 3
years previous. I had now found
something concrete to relate to others, a bible verifying that God calls men to
repent and turn to the Lord Jesus and trust Him as Lord and Saviour.
Although I was saved by the
grace of God I was not yet firmly grounded in the Word of God and growth was
very slow and painful. I was now reading the NIV and the church I had recently
experienced (being charismatic) had some considerable faults and I knew it.
Several years passed with busyness in making a living which included working
abroad, my walk with the Lord suffered and I made some wrong decisions. It came
to the point where I could no longer bear to live outside the will of God.
Assurance of Salvation
God knew I looked for something perfect to go on and
within days after I had earnestly prayed that I re-dedicate my life to the Lord,
He sent a Godly pastor, firmly equipped and established in the true Word of God.
I put down my NIV and took up the Authorised King James Version and with much
study and testing confirmed it to be the very Word of God which I could trust
and believe with all my heart. Line
upon line, this Godly and faithful man helped build my faith on the Word of God.
My growth in Christ accelerated which became very apparent to members of my
family. With confidence by the grace of God, God enabled me to stand firmly when
much trouble hit my life in an attempt to shake me from my stand. God in love,
being the faithful potter, by chastisement, love and care continues to shape me
to be as his Son Jesus Christ. Today I have the assurance of Salvation based on
the promises of the very Word of God. I have been redeemed by the
precious blood of Jesus Christ who by one sacrifice, for all sin,
forever, made it possible for me to have eternal life which is in Him. It is by
his righteousness and not my own am I made righteous in the sight of God. Christ
is my Lord and Saviour and I seek to love and serve him more and more as I grow
in His likeness, my Saviour, Lord and friend.