A Woman’s Homework – Part 2

What Young Women Must Do for Their Home

Titus 2:4-5


28 Feb, 2011  AM

Pastor Craig Ledbetter

Bible Baptist Church, Ballincollig, Cork, Ireland



I.       Introduction (Prov 24:3,4; Titus 2:4,5)


A.    Ladies, I have some more homework for you to do this week! Work that must to be done in your home


1.      Not ironing

2.      Not helping your children with their schoolbooks

3.      Not washing the clothes

4.      Or doing the dishes

5.      No!


B.     It is work that will strengthen your home, and probably save your home, and especially your marriage!

C.     This whole month we are looking at honouring and obeying God’s word, the Bible, in our homes! Letting GOD build our homes as we obey His instructions!


1.      We definitely want to honour the Bible in our church, but it needs to be believed, and obeyed IN OUR HOMES! From first thing Monday morning, until last thing Sunday night – God’s word is to be cherished and loved and obeyed!

2.      It is not being obeyed much these days

3.      And the price for neglecting God’s ways of doing things is absolute devastation


D.    Homes, and especially marriages are in trouble (as if I have to tell you):


1.      A young woman once expressed her view of marriage this way:


a.       "It's as though I'm scanning a desert with a pair of binoculars. Everywhere I look I see bodies strewn about in various stages of death and dying –

b.      What I am looking at is divorce, isolation, abusive and decayed relationships, all types of devastation.

c.       After viewing this she asked herself, Why would I want to begin that journey?"


2.      Many young people today are asking that question.


a.       Although they deeply desire the security and joy of a lifelong relationship, they fear marriage. They fear the price of staying together, the cost of constant forgiveness, and the hurt that comes with commitment.

b.      One new bride said in a Newsweek article: "I watched my parents' marriage fall apart, and I don’t know if I can keep one together myself."


3.      No generation has ever struggled to survive in their own home, like today’s family!


E.     Because of men’s failures in the home, women have turned to feminism to save them


1.      Feminism is a movement aimed at creating equal political, economic, and social rights and opportunities for women. Sounds good doesn’t it?

2.      Feminist activists have campaigned for women's rights, and ended up giving the world abortion on demand!

3.      They have opposed domestic violence, sexual harassment, and sexual assault, and given the world the most sex-crazed generation of men ever imagined!

4.      In economics, they have advocated for workplace rights, including equal pay and opportunities for careers, and yet left their children in the arms of another woman or in the care of a paedophile!

5.      Feminism has not worked! If only our generation would finally admit it!


F.      Folks, the truth is, EVERYONE in a family has a responsibility to follow God’s design – not society’s or Hollywood’s, but God’s design as found not in history or in culture, but in the very words of God!

G.    We have looked at the responsibilities of men, and briefly at children, but last week and this week, we are learning what wives and young women especially must do!

H.    What God is saying in His word will NOT be easy to hear and do, unless the wife has very bended knees, a very humble heart, and a very yielded spirit to the right-ness of the word of God, and to the Lordship of Jesus Christ!


II.    Background and Review


A.    God lists in Titus 2:3-5 Eight priorities of a godly wife. The apostle Paul exhorts the older women to teach young women…


1.      to be sober

2.      to love their husbands

3.      to love their children

4.      to be discreet

5.      chaste

6.      keepers at home

7.      good

8.      obedient to their own husbands


9.      Those eight decisions, eight choices, eight acts of obedience toward God will MAKE a home

10.  And disregarding those eight things, will simply break even the strongest home!


B.     The issue at stake is serious


1.      People all over the world “profess that they know God, but in works DENY him!” (Titus 1:16)! Religious people say they know God, but live completely opposite of His ways!

2.      Failures in our home are a big reason for the world’s reproach of Jesus!

3.      According to Romans 2:24, we can cause people to blaspheme God instead of worship God! I want people to know and love and worship Jesus, but my life, and especially my home life can actually turn people away from God!

4.      Our actions at home should adorn (make beautiful) the doctrine of God (Titus 2:10)


a.       Those actions should provoke people to be amazed at the wisdom and rightness of God (1Pet 2:12; 3:16) in how a home should run, and how strong and stable it can be, and how much love it can offer!


5.      When people start turning back to the Bible for answers, THAT will be the proof that you have done your homework ladies!!!


C.     Housework will not save your home – but the Bible’s “HOME work” will!


III.    Last Week We Looked at Part 1 of A Woman’s Home Work


A.    First, wives are instructed to be Sober – sensible! Have a right way of thinking!


1.      God starts with the mind! This is the FIRST thing that God wants worked on in you!

2.      What does it mean to be sober?


a.       Sober means to be prudent, careful, thoughtful, wise, well regulated, under control!

b.      Well aware of what you are doing, how you are doing it, and where you are headed


3.      Hey Ladies…


a.       How well aware are you of the devil’s tactics and patterns in your life? Does he have an open door into your attitudes and reactions to problems?

b.      How quickly do you find yourself tearing down the very home you so desperately yearn to protect and build up?


4.      The Bible is the TOOL by which the mind is prepared for those attacks

5.      THAT’S where God starts with you ladies – with your thinking!

6.      That’s why it is so important to be reading this Book YOURSELF, and learning it yourself, and obeying it yourself!

7.      But it will do you no good unless it is believed, and obeyed, from the heart!!!

8.      That’s what it means to be sober!

9.      You better start feeding your mind with the words of this Book!


B.     Secondly, they are commanded to Love their Husband.


1.      God is speaking of committed love that godly wives choose to have for their husbands, just as godly husbands choose to have such committed and sacrificial love for their wives (Ephesians 5:25, 28).

2.      The phrase “love their husbands” refers to a willing, determined love that is not based on a husband's worthiness, but on God's command that it is right, and best for YOU. If you are not loving your husband, you are actually hurting yourself more!

3.      What this command means is this:


a.       Do all you can do for him to succeed as a man, and as the leader of your home, and as the lover of the most beautiful women in your home!

b.      Love him as a gift from God – not quite perfect, but that is why God gave YOU to him – to complete and help perfect him (Gen 2:18).

c.       Bridle your Tongue. Don’t ever give the devil the upper hand in your home by a bitter attitude or by angry actions (Pr 21:19)!

d.      Make sure you love your husband MORE than you love your children – that is God’s order of things! The devil LOVES to get us out of order! Nothing wrong with loving your children – just if you love them more than your husband, you will probably lose them!

e.       Reverence him. Highly respect him!!! You used to! Do it again!

f.       Pray for him – by name! By need, for his protection, and for his walk with God!

g.      Treat him like a man, not like a girl-friend

h.      Please him. 1Co 7:34 “she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.” There it is! Man Oh man! What a Book is the Bible!


4.      How do you get to the place where you can do that?


a.       Love the Lord first – then you will have all the love you need to love “that man!”

b.      Humble yourself – love doesn’t think of itself, only the recipient

c.       Listen to older women – ignore all the younger women’s advice – learn what is truly good and right

d.      Trust God’s word. It was written for today just as it was 2,000 years ago!


C.    Thirdly, Wives Are Commanded To Love Their Children.


1.      Wrong Order of love today!


a.       The world has changed this order around. Most women love their children more than they do their husbands. Don’t you find that odd?

b.      They didn’t marry their children… something happened that cause them to think that loving their children would bring them better rewards… wrong!

c.       It usually causes you to lose BOTH your husband AND your children!

d.      They come SECOND in your home!


2.      A well known psychologists wrote, "The point at which many marriages fail is in OVER-investing in the children and UNDER-investing in the marriage." I find this to be very often true!

3.      An example:


a.       We KNOW that is it wicked and wrong for a woman to ignore her children, and refuse to meet their needs, don’t we? We call it negligence

b.      Let me say, that it is just as wicked to abandon your husband ladies, to refuse to honour and bless him! Think about it that way, and your husband will take on a different value!


4.      All of you ladies probably love your children, but if the truth be known, you would probably wish to know how to love them better. Well good then! That’s the right start!

5.      Love your children well – that is the goal! To affect them for good, and to save them from the scars and stupidities of our selfishness!


D.    Fourth, Wives Are told To Be Discreet. (Prov 2:11; 11:22; 1Tim 2:9,10)


1.      It means


a.       Carefully guarding what you say and do – thinking before you speak and react

b.      To judge critically of what is correct and proper to do as a Christian

c.       To be Careful with the way they live

d.      To think about what you are doing, saying, wearing

e.       To question your motives as much as your actions!

f.       Another word for it in the Bible is “Prudence” – carefulness!


2.      Our world is almost completely out of control! Like runaway horses down a main street!


a.       Unbridled tongues – people say anything vile today

b.      Out of control imaginations

c.       Uncontrolled eyes

d.      Unrestrained anger


3.      Well, a woman, especially a young woman needs to be careful in how she dresses, how she speaks (respectfully, or harshly), what she demands and seeks top control

4.      It is so important for Christian women to not just “go with the flow” and just walk, talk, act and react like the feminists of today!

5.      Are you discreet, or are you only like a bull in a China-shop?

6.      I believe we are ALL supposed to be striving to be like Jesus in everything – wives are no exception!


E.     Lets briefly look at the last four priorities of a wife, as instructed by Paul in Titus 2:5


IV. Message


A.    Fifth, Wives Are To Be Chaste.


1.      Such a simple, one-syllable word, with a whole lot of meaning! It is the exact opposite of most women today in their heart.

2.      To be chaste means:


a.       “Unsoiled in thought and action, under control, willing to wait, innocent”

b.      It means to NOT be full of selfish, secret sins, and wishful passions always for other men, but a passion in your thoughts and desires, for the building up of your home and marriage


3.      Many a woman sits for hours and dreams of a man OTHER than their husband (even though ficticious) as they watch filthy movie after TV program where the men always do what their women ask of them, and always look great!

4.      Ladies, anything in your heart that soils your thoughts and love towards your marriage is dirty, and damaging to your future!

5.      A woman who works on her thought life, on her emotional extremes, is a lady who knows the meaning of chastity

6.      It means you don’t throw yourself to anything other than your husband, for life!

7.      Make sure your mind and heart is clear of all bitterness, and unforgiveness, and hatred, and wrath – all of which defile, dirty up the life, and ultimately the entire HOME (Heb 12:15)


B.     Sixth, Wives are to be Keepers at Home. Home-Makers


1.      One of the hardest things for many contemporary wives to do, is be satisfied with being a homemaker.

2.      Part of the reason is that our modern world ethos draws out boredom, burnout and dissatisfaction in the heart of modern wives – it makes women think they are not happy, when they would have never thought of such a thing!

3.      Whether or not you work outside the home, God's highest calling is for you is to manage your home.


a.       Hey! Women are not "non-persons" when they stay at home - they are fulfilling their highest God-given purposes.

b.      That is the most exalted place for a wife.

c.       The world is calling many modern women OUT of the home, but not the Lord.

d.      His design portrays the woman's role as one preoccupied with family duties.

e.       It is a high calling, far more crucial to the future of a woman's children than anything she might do in an outside job.


4.      The home is a wife's special domain and always should be her highest priority. It is NOT a man’s domain – not normally!


a.       That is where she is able to offer the most encouragement and support to her husband as his help meet for his needs!

b.      Is the best place for extending hospitality to Christian friends, to unbelieving neighbours, and to visiting missionaries or other Christian workers.

c.       It is the only place where children naturally feel safe, and grow best!


5.      The feminists, in trying to conquer a man's world, have taken the role of women lower than they have ever been.


a.       Could it be that it is women who have led the moral decline in “Christian” Europe?

b.      Not only is it a departure of God's design for the home for women to work, but it also affects the work of the Lord.

c.       When a married woman works in the work force and someone else is taking care of her children, when the laundry is not done, the house uncleaned, the family fed unhealthy foods, when bringing in part of the income develops a woman’s spirit of independence, then the Word of God is being blasphemed!!!

d.      I don’t care if you don’t like this or not! It’s the truth!!!!


6.      The Proverbs 31 woman…


a.       There is nothing in Scripture that specifically forbids a woman from working outside the home as long as she is fulfilling her priorities IN the home!

b.      She makes clothes and sells them

c.       Buys and sells property

d.      She has her own garden that she manages, and sells the produce from it

e.       She makes sure the home runs well for her husband and children

f.       She is one busy women, and she LOVES it – it is not a prison to her!

g.      But the key to notice is that her life is linked to her home – not her career!

h.      A man’s life is linked to his work, to his career outside of the home – that is his self-worth – that is what he was designed to do!

i.        But a woman’s self worth is directly connected to the accomplishments of her family


7.      How could a mother possibly do all that needs to be done in the home with the upbringing of children, the extending of hospitality, care of the needy, and work for the Lord (cf. 1 Timothy 5:3-14) and still work in an outside job? Obviously, someone (the devil) is trying to make it very hard to be a Christian wife! Don’t let the devil win that battle!!!

8.      Indeed, any wife who fulfils God's priorities in her life and home will be a busy lady. However, her children and her husband will rise up and call her blessed, and a woman who fears the LORD shall be praised (Proverbs 31:28,30).


C.     Seventh, Wives are to be Good


1.      Pro 31:12 says a virtuous woman, “She will do him (her husband) good and not evil all the days of her life.”

2.      Ladies… you are to be gentle, considerate, amiable, congenial, and sympathetic, even with those who are undeserving and unkind to you.

3.      Listen to 1Cor 13:4-6

4.      I know how you WANT to react to hurts and disappointments, but let’s take a peek at how Sarah treated her husband in 1 Peter 3:1-6


a.       Peter describes winning your husband without a word – but using goodness instead

b.      Don’t do whatever HE wants - do what is most beautiful!

c.       Let him see the beauty of your inner man


1)      Restrained words – carefully spoken, not blasted out

2)      Meek and quiet in attitude


d.      That doesn’t mean you cannot say what needs to be said when in a disagreement, but that you say what needs to be said, and then you back down

e.       What is YOUR attitude like at home?


1)      Constant yelling?

2)      Do you slam doors, and express your anger with glares and cruel words towards your husband?

3)      Do you rule your house?

4)      Is it YOUR opinion that has to be heard and known all day long?

5)      Do you drive the very people you love away?

6)      If so, then it is time to repent! I mean, you should be ashamed of being like the devil, and become more like Christ!

7)      If you want to conquer your rebellious husband, God did not say do it with harsh words, or cold food, or heavy handed tactics, or an empty bed!


5.      Hey! Has YOUR way worked all these years? Has your sharp tongue and anger, and cold shoulder made your husband a better man? Is your husband more of a man today, more confident, a stronger leader, or is he now only a mouse simply because he is afraid of you? 

6.      Jesus commands us in Matthew 5:44…


a.       To love those who curse us – that is strong!

b.      To be kind to those who have hurt us – I bet your husband has hurt you, emotionally, and maybe even physically

c.       To do good to those that hate you – how many of you have heard hateful words from your husbands, only to respond with the same awful hateful words yourself?

d.      Jesus says, To pray for them! When was the last time you got down at the side of your bed and confessed how wicked YOU were for not praying for your husband, and asking God to make him a better man and a more loving husband, and a better father, and the best Christian possible? When was the last time you didn’t ask God to kill him???

e.       I know, I know, all those troubles shouldn’t come from your husbands, but they does happen, and Jesus told us all how to respond!


7.      Romans 12:17-21 says there is only one way to overcome your evil, mean, impossible husband… with good things!


a.       Christians are not to seek revenge or pay-backs for wrongs done, in word or actions

b.      Trust God to judge your husband

c.       And if you love him, pray that God doesn’t judge him too harshly

d.      And while you are waiting for God to work on him, feed him, bless him, love him

e.       It will keep you right with God, and will keep you sane and blessed yourself!


8.      Ladies, I know you are “good” but are you being good towards your husband?

9.      The younger generation is watching to see how to handle problem men. Don’t just repeat the feminist agenda!


D.    Eighth, Obedient to Your own Husband – Submissive


1.      Where there is true love, this command will be easy

2.      Be an helper


a.       A nurse in the operating theatre HELPS the doctor, doing everything the doctor asks of her, so that she can HELP him save a life

b.      A mechanic works along side another mechanic, doing whatever the man under the car asks so that the car gets fixed

c.       Can you imagine what a job would be like if everyone acted like YOU do with your husband?


3.      What is it like in your home?


a.       Is your husband honoured as the head of your home?

b.      He probably has blown it so many times that you won’t trust him to lead and make the big decisions

c.       But God says otherwise


4.      Let your husband lead! Be in charge, make decisions!


a.       No, he should not be commanding you to obey him

b.      But you should anyway (Gen 3:16)

c.       God designed you to live under the authority of your own husband, not another woman’s husband (1Cor 11:3)

d.      Talk to the most important person in your life (more important than your children), and discuss your concerns and fears, and ideas, and then him make the final decision!

e.       You will discover a new man who will make mistakes, yes, but will look to you for wisdom and help so that he doesn’t!

f.       He won’t look to you for help when you only shame and embarrass him

g.      Is there anything you are doing, or buying that your husband made clear was not what he thought best? Probably!

h.      Are you so determined to do your own thing that your forgot that your children will copy you, and will experience the same if not worse problems because of stubbornness and hard heartedness?

i.        God does not honour a man’s dictatorship, but a man’s leadership

j.        Will you LET him lead you and your family? Closing your mouth after the discussion is over, and obeying his decision?

k.      Oh how many homes are lost today because of two heads, that will never submit to God


5.      Do you want to save your home? Then honour your husband better than you honour your employer


V.    Conclusion


A.    This month we ALL are taking on some homework


1.      Men, we are focusing on loving our wives like Christ loved the church – do we even THINK about how much that will cost us?

2.      Children, work on obeying and honouring our parents instead of obeying your friends

3.      Ladies, work on developing your homes, not destroying them!


B.     This morning, we have finished looking at the things to be doing this week as homework


1.      Work that is supposed to be done in your home

2.      Work in your home that will strengthen your home, and probably save your home


C.     What are those things?


1.      to be sober

2.      to love their husbands

3.      to love their children

4.      to be discreet

5.      chaste

6.      keepers at home

7.      good

8.      obedient to their own husbands


D.    Housework will not save your home – but the Bible’s “HOME work” will!

E.     Why is all of that so important?


1.      Because you will miss the highest calling God has for YOUR life

2.      Because NOT doing these things will cost you your family and your children!


a.       Those eight decisions, eight choices, eight acts of obedience toward God make a home

b.      And disregarding those eight things, will simply break even the strongest home!


3.      Because NOT doing these things will not only hurt your home, but cause the world around us to only reject and blaspheme the words of eternal life!


a.       People are rejecting God’s word

b.      Blaspheming His word

c.       Mocking His ways

d.      And it is partly due to Christian women’s way of living!


4.      You and your home can make an eternal difference


F.      Our actions at home should adorn (make beautiful) the doctrine of God (Titus 2:10)

G.    Those actions should provoke people to be amazed at the wisdom and rightness of God (1Pet 2:12; 3:16) in how a home should run!

H.    That will be the proof that you have done your homework ladies!!!

I.       Don’t give up on God so soon ladies! You cannot do any of this without Jesus in your lives (John 15:5)


1.      Do you know Him?

2.      Has He been allowed to step into YOUR life and start over with you?

3.      Have you repented and asked Jesus to save your lost, selfish soul?

4.      Have you been born again the Bible way?

5.      Today you can be!