A Woman’s Homework – Part 1

What Young Woman Must Do for Their Home

Titus 2:4-5


20 Feb, 2011  AM

Pastor Craig Ledbetter

Bible Baptist Church, Ballincollig, Cork, Ireland



I.       Introduction (Titus 2:4,5)


A.    Ladies, I have some homework for you to do this week! Work that is supposed to be done in your home


1.      Not ironing

2.      Not helping your children with their schoolbooks

3.      Not washing the clothes

4.      Or doing the dishes

5.      No!


B.     Work in your home that will strengthen your home, and probably save your home

C.     There is a problem today


1.      A problem with honouring the word of God, especially in the home!

2.      Yes, we men are the majority of the blame

3.      But a woman can, without even thinking, do something so horrible and damaging that God over and over repeats serious warnings of it

4.      What is it?


a.       Did you notice the end of verse 5? Failure to live according to these eight priorities will cause the Word of God to be blasphemed (i.e., abused, dishonoured, mocked, made fun of, disregarded).

b.      A woman, even the most sweetest and kindest of woman, can end up blaspheming God’s word. Ruining its effect in their home. Destroying its ability to transform the world around them!


5.      No wonder people don’t take the Bible seriously… because CHRISTIANS don’t take it seriously!!!

6.      But…, a wife who orders her life according to these priorities will honour God's Word, and will herself be honoured!


D.    This whole month we are looking at honouring and obeying God’s word, the Bible, in our homes! Letting GOD build our homes!

E.     We definitely want to honour the Bible in our church, but it needs to be believed, and obeyed IN OUR HOMES! From first thing Monday morning, until last thing Sunday night – God’s word is to be cherished and loved and obeyed!

F.      What I am about to preach will NOT be easy to hear and do unless the wife has very bended knees, a very humble heart, and a very yielded spirit to the word of God, and to the Lordship of Jesus Christ!

G.    We will look at the first four homework lessons this morning

H.    Next week we will look at the last four


II.    Background


A.    What are God's priorities for women? Eight priorities of a godly wife are spelled out in Titus 2:3-5 where Paul exhorts the older women to teach young women…


1.      to be sober

2.      to love their husbands

3.      to love their children

4.      to be discreet

5.      chaste

6.      keepers at home

7.      good

8.      obedient to their own husbands


B.     Folks, this is not to lay a guilt-trip on anybody!

C.     The issue at stake is serious


1.      People all over the world “profess that they know God, but in works DENY him!” (Titus 1:16)! Religious people say they know God, but live completely opposite of His ways!

2.      As Christians, we should never give the devil an occasion to speak reproachfully of Jesus Christ (1Tim 5:14) – we should never be the reason why people make fun of Jesus

3.      Failures in our home are a big reason for the world’s reproach of Jesus!

4.      According to Romans 2:24, we can cause people to blaspheme God instead of worship God! I want people to know and love and worship Jesus, but my life, and especially my home life can actually turn people away from God!

5.      Our actions at home should adorn (make beautiful) the doctrine of God (Titus 2:10)

6.      Those actions should provoke people to be amazed at the wisdom and rightness of God (1Pet 2:12; 3:16) in how a home should run!

7.      That will be the proof that you have done your homework ladies!!!


D.    Housework will not save your home – but HOME work will!


III. Message – A Woman’s Homework


A.    First, wives are commanded to be Sober – sensible! Have a right way of thinking!


1.      Sounds strange, but it makes sense!

2.      God starts with the mind! This is the FIRST thing that God wants worked on in you – and that is your mind – why?


a.       Because our adversary, the devil takes advantage of you being unaware of his tactics (1Peter 5:8)

b.      Because it is with our minds that we make decisions

c.       When our HEARTS are allowed to guide us, we crash (Jer 17:9)


3.      So, what does it mean to be sober?


a.       Sober means to be prudent, careful, thoughtful, wise, well regulated, under control!

b.      Well aware of what you are doing, how you are doing it, and where you are headed


1)      Driving a car requires sobriety – not distracted, or slow to grasp

2)      Cutting wood and metal in a shop requires sobriety – well aware of what you are doing

3)      Climbing a cliff requires sobriety – thoughtful about every step you are taking


c.       Being sober-minded is not as easy as it may seem.

d.      A young married woman has great pressures of married life and exhausting work in modern child rearing. There is great opportunity for depression and bitterness to creep in. The older woman's counsel enables the young woman to be occupied with a relationship with Jesus Christ, to see life "with eternity's values in view", to make decisions from the wisdom of God's viewpoint.

e.       The opposite of sobriety is flippant, carelessness, frivolity, appathy

f.       Too many women are trading in this Bible and just going “with the flow” of the world around them – just doing what everyone else is doing, and acting like everyone around them!


4.      Hey Ladies…


a.       How well aware are you of the devil’s tactics and patterns in your life?

b.      The Bible is the TOOL by which the mind is prepared for those attacks

c.       THAT’S where God starts with you ladies – with your thinking!

d.      That’s why it is so important to be reading this Book YOURSELF, and learning it yourself, and obeying it yourself!



B.     Secondly, Love Your Husband.


1.      A plain and simple command. You loved him when you first got married!

2.      There are no conditions or exceptions given.


a.       Go on, take a look for your self, and see if God says, “if” or “but” or “except in such and such a case”

b.      Aren’t you glad that God doesn’t put conditions on HIS love towards YOU?


3.      Ladies, loving your husband is no great accomplishment – but NOT loving them is a sin!


a.       God is not referring to romantic or sexual love, although that has an important and proper place in marriage.

b.      God is speaking of committed love that godly wives choose to have for their husbands, just as godly husbands choose to have such committed and sacrificial love for their wives (Ephesians 5:25, 28).

c.       The phrase refers to a willing, determined love that is not based on a husband's worthiness, but on God's command that it is right, and best for YOU. If you are not loving your husband, you are actually hurting yourself more!


4.      Even unlovable, uncaring, unfaithful, and ungrateful husbands are to be loved. Hmmmm. Have I lost some of you? You see, this is where we live – in the real world, filled with very imperfect men that are hard to love… and yet Christ commands a wife to love her man!

5.      What it means is this:


a.       Do all you can do for him to succeed as a man, and as the leader of your home, and as the lover of the most beautiful women in your home!

b.      Love him as a gift from God – not quite perfect, but that is why God gave YOU to him – to complete and help perfect him (Gen 2:18).

c.       Bridle your Tongue. Don’t ever give the devil the upper hand in your home by a bitter attitude or by angry actions (Pr 21:19)!

d.      Make sure you love your husband MORE than you love your children – that is God’s order of things! The devil LOVES to get us out of order! Nothing wrong with loving your children – just if you love them more than your husband, you will probably lose them!

e.       Reverence him. Highly respect him!!! You used to! Do it again!


1)      Eph 5:33  “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” Come tonight to learn just how to do that!!! Don’t you complain or gripe or ignore the word of God

2)      Your husband needs you to talk WITH him, not at him, or to him!

3)      Did you know that your husband needs you to respect him more than he needs sex?!!! Remember that! He needs it like he needs air to breathe!


f.       Pray for him – by name! By need, for his protection, and for his walk with God!

g.      Treat him like a man, not like a girl-friend - ladies can improve on communication in the home by doing it less. God made women verbal creatures, which can frustrate men with the overwhelming amount of your words. Instead of expecting your husband to be a girlfriend (and men make wonderful husbands, but not girlfriends), take these wise words to heart…


1)      Men make terrible mind readers, so be direct. Dropping subtle hints doesn’t work with most men, and it doesn’t mean a man is insensitive, uncaring, or oblivious.

2)      Spell out whether you want help and advice, or if you’re just venting. God made men to want to be our heroes, so understand that you can frustrate him if he can’t fix what’s hurting you because all you want is someone to listen.

3)      And finally, take whatever he says at face value. Women tend to overanalyze men when they are just not that complicated.


h.      Please him.


1)      1Co 7:34 “There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.” There it is! Man Oh man! What a Book is the Bible!

2)      Ladies, did you know that you do NOT need for ME to tell you how to make your husband’s day! You just need me to encourage you to go ahead and bless him with the gift of your love! What a priceless, and matchless gift you are!


6.      How do you get to the place where you can do that?


a.       Love the Lord

b.      Humble yourself

c.       Listen to older women – ignore all the younger women’s advice

d.      Trust God’s word


C.     Thirdly, Wives Are To Love Their Children.


1.      What a strange command! "To love their children." 


a.       Most women really believe they are loving their children – and they are very offended if someone even INFERS that they might not be

b.      Most men actually think they are loving their wife well – and they are greatly offended if someone hints that they really aren’t – that they really are just being selfish!

c.       Wouldn’t it be good to just drop our guard and listen to God’s viewpoint?


2.      Wrong Order of love today!


a.       The world has changed this order around. Most women love their children more than they do their husbands. Don’t you find that odd?

b.      They didn’t marry their children… something happened that cause them to think that loving their children would bring them better rewards… wrong!

c.       It usually causes you to lose BOTH your husband AND your children!

d.      They come SECOND in your home!


3.      A well known psychologists wrote, "The point at which many marriages fail is in OVER-investing in the children and UNDER-investing in the marriage." I find this to be very often true!

4.      An example:


a.       We KNOW that is it wicked and wrong for a woman to ignore her children, and refuse to meet their needs, don’t we? We call it negligence

b.      Let me say, that it is just as wicked to abandon your husband ladies, to refuse to honour and bless him! Think about it that way, and your husband will take on a different value!


5.      What kind of love should it be?



a.       More than “maternal” love. You wonder why a young woman has to be taught to love her own children. But for Christians, due parental concern goes far beyond natural “maternal love” (which does not usually have to be taught). What God is asking a Mom to do is love them to Christ - bring him up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph 6:4).


1)      This includes Biblical child training, Christian education, teaching manners and dress, respect for privacy and property, respect for authority, especially the authority of God, their dependence on God, their love for the Lord Jesus Christ and for the Word of God.

2)      A child must learn as early in possible the means of having victory over sin, from the standpoint of staying in fellowship with God and in developing freedom from chronic, fear, worry, cruelty, bitterness, envy, hatred, maligning, gossiping, judging, revenge seeking, and so forth. Along with this is the freedom from the need to sublimate through alcohol, drugs, or fornication.

3)      The result of victory over sin patterns in the life is the freedom from divine discipline and from the self-induced misery caused by sin with and the accompanying neuroses and psychoses brought on by chronic sin.

4)      In all phases of life, your child should develop a set of Bible standards by which to make decisions which come from divine viewpoint. They get those standards easiest from their parents!!!

5)      That’s a lot to teach our children – she needs her husband’s help!


b.      Sacrificial love. This love is just like the love you are your husband are supposed to have for each other – it  should be selfless and sacrificial.

c.       Needed love. Your love towards your children cannot be based on their personality, intelligence, attractiveness or worthiness, but on their need.


1)      What is their greatest need? We know it is LOVE, but WHO’S love?

2)      Too many parents think THEIR love is all their kids need!

3)      But a child’s heart was fashioned by God to know and enjoy the love of God!

4)      So, the most important responsibility of love for believing parents is to lead their children to a saving relationship with Jesus Christ. Showing them God’s love and patience, and His ways in your home!

5)      Mothers are to love their children in every way - practical, physical, social, moral, and spiritual - with a love that has no conditions and no limits. This kind of love, to be fully expressed, is extremely demanding as the mother seeks to fulfil her obligation to raise godly children (see 1 Timothy 2:15).


6.      True Parental love is…


a.       Not permissive, but firm (Prov 29:15; 1Sam 3:13)

b.      Not only practical, but moral and pure (Deut 6:6,7)

c.       Not scheduled, but both spontaneous and consistent – kids need lots of love-surprises

d.      Not based on feelings only, but on your choice

e.       Not airy-fairy, but focused on the goal of godliness in them (2Tim 1:5; Acts 16:1)


7.      All of you ladies probably love your children, but if the truth be known, you would probably wish to know how to love them better. Well good then! That’s the right start!

8.      To love your children well – that is the goal! To affect them for good, and to save them from the scars and stupidities of our selfishness!


D.    Fourth, Wives Are To Be Discreet. (Prov 2:11; 11:22; 1Tim 2:9,10)


1.      Discretion is very important

2.      It means


a.       Carefully guarding what you say and do

b.      To judge critically of what is correct and proper

c.       To be Careful with the way they live

d.      To think about what you are doing, saying, wearing

e.       To question your motives

f.       Another word for it in the Bible is Prudence


3.      Our world is almost completely out of control! Like runaway horses!


a.       Unbridled tongues – people say anything vile today

b.      Out of control imaginations

c.       Unrestrained anger

d.      Uncontrolled eyes


4.      Well, a woman, especially a young woman needs to be careful of the following things:


a.       In how she dresses


1)      All Christian women, and especially young women are to "adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works." (1 Tim. 2:9-10).

2)      "Modesty" refers to a healthy sense of shame at saying anything, doing anything, or dressing in any way that would cause a man to lust.


b.      In being embarrassable – being soft and sensitive to things that SHOULD embarrass you

c.       Of being feminine – God made you feminine, be what God designed you to be!

d.      Of your words

e.       How you sit! Guys don’t really have to worry, but ladies do!

f.       How you walk – are you attracting too many looks? You should have TWO ways of dressing, walking, and talking


1)      One to those outside the bedroom

2)      And another inside the bedroom!


5.      "Discreetly" refers to morally control yourself, to keeping passions, especially sexual passions, under control until married. 1Peter 3:3-6 gives similar instruction to women.

6.      Ladies…


a.       Are you careful how you talk to your husband? Remember Vashti?

b.      Are you careful about how you talk to your children?

c.       Are you careful how you dress and carry yourself?

d.      Are you careful to show preference to your husband when he is around?


7.      The older ladies in this church are SO NEEDED for our current generation! NO ONE IS useless in Bible Christianity!

8.      Think about what you are doing ladies


IV. Conclusion


A.    This month we ALL are taking on some homework


1.      Men, we are focusing on loving our wives like Christ loved the church

2.      Children, in obeying and honouring our parents

3.      Ladies, in developing our homes, not destroying them


B.     This morning, we have looked at four things to be doing this week as homework


1.      Work that is supposed to be done in your home

2.      Work in your home that will strengthen your home, and probably save your home


C.     What are those four things?


1.      to be sober

2.      to love their husbands

3.      to love their children

4.      to be discreet


D.    Why is all of that so important?


1.      Because NOT doing these things will not only hurt your home, but cause the world around us to only reject and blaspheme the words of eternal life!

2.      People are rejecting God’s word

3.      Blaspheming His word

4.      Mocking His ways

5.      And it is partly due to Christian women’s way of living!


E.     Our actions at home should adorn (make beautiful) the doctrine of God (Titus 2:10)

F.      Those actions should provoke people to be amazed at the wisdom and rightness of God (1Pet 2:12; 3:16) in how a home should run!

G.    That will be the proof that you have done your homework ladies!!!

H.    Next week we will look at the last four

I.       Don’t give up on God so soon ladies! You cannot do any of this without Jesus in your lives (John 15:5)


1.      Do you know Him?

2.      Has He been allowed to step into YOUR life and start over with you?

3.      Have you repented and asked Jesus to save your lost, selfish soul?

4.      Have you been born again the Bible way?

5.      Today you can be!