What God Expects of a Married Woman Living in the Real World
Part of the “Bow the Knee” Series
Pastor Craig Ledbetter
DATE: 24 Feb, 2008 AM
PLACE: BBC Ballincollig, Cork, Ireland
I. Introduction (Mark 3:25; 2Cor 2:11)
1. A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"
2. "Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."
3. Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language...things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please mama!"
4. "Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?"
5. "Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed they're just too awful! Come get me, please!"
6. "Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset.... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
7. Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama...words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!"
B. In spite of what you may feel and think, the HOME was originally created perfect - wonderful - a heaven on earth!
C. Satan hates the home!
1. He hates it the most! It was the FIRST thing he attacked in the garden, and he won’t stop until he is finally cast into the lake of fire!
2. Satan has always attempted to RUIN God’s perfect creation, and if it weren’t for God’s grace, and intervention, this world would have self-destructed long, long ago!
D. Jesus told us that a house divided against itself will fall. How true that is! Many homes are broken homes because there was one too many people trying to be the leader in that home.
E. This month we are attempting to repair some divisions
F. This month we are looking at the Home – actually, the concept of humility in the home!
1. We learned that Everyone needs THREE Homes…
a. A Heavenly home (John 14:1-3)
b. A Church home (Acts 11:26)
c. A Christian home (Joshua 24:15)
2. We looked at how hard it is to Come Home - Three Steps to Restore Ruined Relationships
3. Then we learned about the value of the Husband’s Blessing – How to Love Your Wife, Gentlemen!
4. Last week we looked at a dramatic effort by David to Save His Home when it had been taken from him
G. This morning we will look at the Eight Priorities of a Real-World-Wife!
H. There are several privileges that belong to the wife. For instance:
1. She is to be loved like Christ loved the church as commanded in Ephesians 5:25. That is a TALL order!
2. According to 1Peter 3:7, she is to be honoured as none other is honoured in your life!
3. And according to Proverbs 31:28, she is to be praised by her family most of all!
I. But there are some Priorities for a wife in the Bible – some things that she HAS to keep her focus on
1. In Titus 2:3-5 we read a list of the responsibilities of the wife.
2. All of these are important and vital for a home not only to survive, but to THRIVE!
3. But believe me, none will be easy without the wife having very bended knees, a very humble heart, and a very yielded spirit to the word of God, and to the Lordship of Jesus Christ!
J. What are God's priorities for women? Eight priorities of a godly wife are spelled out in Titus 2:3-5 where Paul exhorts the older women to teach young women
1. to be sober
2. to love their husbands
3. to love their children
4. to be discreet
6. keepers at home
8. obedient to their own husbands
K. Folks, this is not pie-in-the-sky talk. This is not to lay a guilt-trip on anybody!
L. These are for real wives, living in the real world, NOT in a fairy-tale kind of world, but in the world that the Bible was written for - a world that doesn’t make sense, doesn’t work right, and is constantly falling apart and letting us down. That is the kind of world that God calls godly wives to shine in!
M. I will only focus our attention on the first two this morning because of time. Come back tonight for more on the rest!
N. Did you notice the end of verse 5? Failure to live according to these eight priorities will cause the Word of God to be blasphemed (i.e., abused, dishonoured, damned). But…, a wife who orders her life according to these priorities will honour God's Word, and will herself be honoured!
II. Message - Eight Priorities of A Godly Wife
A. First, wives are commanded to be Sober – sensible!
1. God starts with the mind! This is the FIRST thing that God wants worked on in you – and that is your mind – why?
a. Because our adversary, the devil takes advantage of you being unaware of his tactics (1Peter 5:8)
b. Because it is with our minds that we make decisions
c. When our HEARTS are allowed to guide us, we crash (Jer 17:9)
2. So, what does it mean to be sober?
a. Sober means to Restrain, to be mentally stable; to bring someone to his senses, Thoughtful, Wise, Not Ignorant but Well aware of what you are doing, how you are doing it, and where you are headed
1) Driving a car requires sobriety – not distracted, or slow to grasp
2) Cutting wood and metal in a shop requires sobriety – well aware of what you are doing
3) Climbing a cliff requires sobriety – thoughtful about every step you are taking
b. This is the same quality that should characterize a pastor (1:7,8), all older men (2:2), and, in fact, all believers (2:11,12).
c. Being sober-minded is not as easy as it may seem.
d. A young married woman has great pressures of married life and exhausting work in modern child rearing. There is great opportunity for depression and bitterness to creep in. The older woman's counsel enables the young woman to be occupied with a relationship with Jesus Christ, to see life "with eternity's values in view", to make decisions from the wisdom of God's viewpoint.
e. The opposite of sobriety is flippant, carelessness, frivolity, simpleton
f. Too many women are trading in this Bible for the amusement of this world, and of the pleasures of self
3. Hey Ladies…
a. Satan tricked Adam’s wife in the garden of Eden – she was not aware of his devices, his schemings, his plans
b. How well aware are you of the devil’s tactics and patterns in your life?
c. The Bible is the TOOL by which the mind is prepared for those attacks
d. THAT’S where God starts with you ladies – with your thinking!
e. That’s why it is so important to be reading this Book YOURSELF, and learning it yourself, and obeying it yourself!
B. Secondly, Wives Are To Love Their Husbands.
1. A plain and simple command.
2. There are no conditions or exceptions given. Go on, take a look for your self, and see if God says, “if” or “but” or “except in such and such a case”
3. Ladies, loving your husband is no great accomplishment – but not loving them is a sin!
a. God is not referring to romantic or sexual love, although that has an important and proper place in marriage. God is speaking of committed love that godly wives choose to have for their husbands, just as godly husbands choose to have such committed and sacrificial love for their wives (Ephesians 5:25, 28).
b. The phrase refers to a willing, determined love that is not based on a husband's worthiness but on God's command that it is right, and best for you.
4. Even unlovable, uncaring, unfaithful, and ungrateful husbands are to be loved. Hmmmm. Have I lost some of you? You see, this is where we live – in the real world, filled with very imperfect men that are hard to love… and yet Christ commands a wife to love her man!
5. What it means is this:
a. Do all you can do for him to succeed as a man, and as the leader, and as the lover of the most beautiful women in your home!
b. Love him as a gift from God – not quite perfect, but that is why God gave YOU to him – to complete and help perfect him (Gen 2:18).
c. Bridle your Tongue. Don’t ever give the devil the upper hand in your home by a bitter attitude or by angry actions (Pr 21:19)!
d. Make sure you love your husband MORE than you love your children – that is God’s order of things! The devil LOVES to get us out of order! Nothing wrong with loving your children – just if you love them more than your husband, you will probably lose them!
e. Reverence him. Highly respect him!!! You used to! Do it again!
1) Eph 5:33 “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” Come tonight to learn just how to do that!!! Don’t you complain or gripe or ignore the word of God
2) Your husband needs you to talk WITH him, not at him, or to him!
3) Did you know that your husband needs you to respect him more than he needs sex?!!! Remember that! He needs it like he needs air to breathe!
f. Pray for him – by name! By need, for his protection, and for his walk with God!
g. Treat him like a man, not like a girl-friend - ladies can improve on communication in the home by doing it less. God made women verbal creatures, which can frustrate men with the overwhelming amount of your words. Instead of expecting your husband to be a girlfriend (and men make wonderful husbands, but not girlfriends), take these wise words to heart…
1) Men make terrible mind readers, so be direct. Dropping subtle hints doesn’t work with most men, and it doesn’t mean a man is insensitive, uncaring, or oblivious.
2) Spell out whether you want help and advice, or if you’re just venting. God made men to want to be our heroes, so understand that you can frustrate him if he can’t fix what’s hurting you because all you want is someone to listen.
3) And finally, take whatever he says at face value. Women tend to overanalyze men when they are just not that complicated.
h. Please him.
1) 1Co 7:34 “There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.” There it is! Man Oh man! What a Book is the Bible!
2) Ladies, did you know that you do NOT need for ME to tell you how to make your husband’s day! You just need me to encourage you to go ahead and bless him with the gift of your love! What a priceless, and matchless gift you are!
6. How do you get to the place where you can do that?
a. Friendship. This kind of love by husbands and wives for each other involves a friendship that is strong and deep. Some couples say, they don’t have that kind of a friendship – well, it’s too late to complain now! Ask God to make you your husband’s best friend (Prov 18:24) – you may have to be friendly first!
b. Practice. When a wife does not truly love her husband she must, in obedience to the Lord, train herself to love him. That’s ROUGH man!
c. Partnership. Partner with him. To love your husband means that you are a partner with him, working together as a TEAM toward a common ultimate, worthwhile goal (Prov 12:4). Don’t work against him, always pulling him, and dragging him YOUR way! Ask God to pull both yours, and his heart towards Himself!
A. Oh there is so much more… a lifetime of growing and developing as a wife
B. But the most important were presented this morning!
C. Jesus told us that a house divided against itself will fall. How true that is! Many homes are broken homes because there was one too many people trying to be the leader in that home.
D. This month we are attempting to repair some divisions
1. I have showed you some things the husband has to make as priorities
2. This morning we have looked at just three things a wife has to make as priority
E. There are several privileges that belong to the wife
F. But there are some Priorities for a wife in the Bible – some things that she HAS to keep her focus on
G. These things are not pie-in-the-sky talk. This is not to lay a guilt-trip on anybody! These are for real wives, living in the real world, who don’t want the devil to ruin another home – their home!
H. We only looked at the first two
1. to be sober
2. to love their husbands
I. There is more to come tonight at 7pm. Come on out and get a full dinner!
J. Look to Jesus Christ and get the life he offers to everyone in this room!