31 Aug, 2003 AM
PLACE: BBC Blarney
Introduction (Heb 13:4)
A. It is important that we keep our marriages strong, and to know that what we have in our marriages is more important to fight for than even national freedom.
B. A Little Humour
1. Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law!
2. Men, what are the three most important little words before marriage? I love you. Men, what are the three most important little words after marriage? Let's eat out.
Joseph Barth commented, Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.
Dr. Joyce Brothers said, My husband and I have never considered
divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce.
Mignon McLaughlin observed, A successful marriage requires falling in
love many times, always with the same person.
Oscar Wilde wrote, Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
Tom Mullen explains, Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we
love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.
Let us see what God says in his word about marriage.
Before I do, let me say, there is something wonderful about being alone,
We all start off single
God made us for Himself, first – individually we are to live for the
Lord Jesus Christ with all our hearts
God’s will is that almost all people get married
But some may find the will of God to be for them to stay single – the
Apostle Paul said it was great to be single and serving God
– so, always be willing to be single and find out before you go off
dating, and get burned out with heartaches and sexually transmitted diseases!
The Design of a Home (Gen
After designing and creating a massive universe with such incredible
detail and beauty, God then turned to mould and fashion a home – not a
building with mortar and brick and wallpaper, but two people!
The greatest tribute God gave to us was His plan for the home through
God designed the home from the beginning – three ingredients:
– God gave us work as a gift! It is not part of the curse – everything takes
work – even your salvation took work – thankfully it was JESUS who did all
There was A world to explore and conquer
There was A garden to tend to, and live off of
There were lots of animals to catch and harness the energy of for WORK
Adam was charged with being busy and discovering something else to do,
– Love is of God! God gave love - it is not a by-product of evolution
Without love a home is a prison
God made two people FOR each other – not to torture each other
Adam was made FOR God’s pleasure
Eve was made for Adam – a HELP, meet, right, for him
Children were made for doing the dishes!
God knows how much better two are than one (Eccl 4:9-12)
Notice the first marriage
Adam doesn’t know what he is getting himself into
God takes a part of man, from near his heart, and fashions a woman
God brings that woman as a gift to Adam – the bride
Adam accepts the gift as perfect
They two, become one person
AND, they are NOT ashamed – marriage was and is GOOD
The modern world, and lots of religions have made sex sinful – NO!
ONLY sex OUTSIDE of marriage is sinful (Heb 13:4)
(Gen 2:16,17). All of life has limits
The design was: One man, one woman; Till death – not till bad breath
God drew simple lines to protect marriage, and had serious consequences
when the home was violated
Fornication – anything that interferes with a person being pure for
their spouse – pornography, petting, pre-marital sex
Adultery – people who would interfere with another man’s wife, or
another woman’s husband were to be executed!
You think just a little look, or a little flirt means nothing?
It is the little foxes that spoil the whole farm, and it is the little
sins as much as the big ones that destroy a home!
Have Bible convictions about what is going to go on in your home, and in
your own personal life – quit quoting FREEDOM and enjoy the protection that
rules and limits afford you!
Notice when Eve was tempted – when Adam was not around – shows that
the devil will attack in areas where we are not protected and guarded by limits
in our life
What we watch on TV
How late we stay up when we ought to be in bed with our mate
What kind of control our friends have over us and our time – need to be
home (Hab 2:5)
The Demise of the Home (2Sam
11-18) – most homes fall because of one word – neglect. Most people go to
hell because of neglect (Heb 2:4)
Take a look at the Ingredients for Disaster just in this one
(1Sam 11:1,2) – David was a leader who was idle
Not busy working, sweating, focused on doing a job
David was bored – boredom is not sinful, but it is the door through
which sin creeps into the life of even the greatest of men
Men who don’t stay busy and work and fill their time up with
challenging tasks are just asking for the devil to tempt them and ruin their
home and their future!!!
(1Sam 11:2) – Bathsheba was a man’s WIFE
Not careful about what they do, or how they dress, or what signals they
may be sending
Don’t you think this world has taken Bible Christianity too far into
trouble? Shouldn’t we be turning around sometime soon?
Modern women are not just indiscrete, they are BLATANT!
Discretion by a women is one of the best defences for the home
All over the magazines, the TV, and in public, women are being so
in-dicreet that they are actually avidly attacking the “nuclear home” and
they seem to be enjoying it!
God help them, and God help us to quit idolizing them!
(1Sam 11:14,15) – Joab
People are “too helpful” when people complain, instead of
putting the pressure on people to get things right
Joab helped David get rid of Urijah – like most “Talk Show Hosts”
Too many people have time to hear a sad woman’s tale of their
unhappiness when they should be kicking them back home to get right with their
husband – the same is true with the men!
This church will have nothing to do with helping people get rid of their
spouse, or comforting hurt husbands or hurt wives, when they are most of the
time just being too proud to go home and work things out!
I know abuse, and adultery and fornication are grounds for valid
divorces, but divorce the LAST thing you are to turn to – if you are not
committed to the family, then you are not Christian!
What were the consequences?
Death of a good man - Urijah
Death of a new born baby
Delight of the devil – he had brought down one of the mighty men of God
– that is his greatest delight – Satan gets his kicks out of this!
Domestic Battles for the rest of his life – used to fight and win
battles against all his enemies – now he would spend all his time fighting and
losing battles in his home
Amnon and Tamar fiasco (13) – confused love!
The men of Israel losing confidence in David (14)
Absalom taking away David’s kingdom (13-18)
Absolom getting killed (18)
What are the consequences in our society today?
a. 20000 marriages in 2002 – 35,100 divorces! The number of divorced people grew from 9,800 in the 1996 census to 35,100 last year, according to the figures released yesterday by the CSO. This trend can largely be explained by the legalisation of divorce in the State in 1997.
The number of separated, including divorced, people
increased from 87,800 in 1996 to 133,800 in 2002.
The Defence of a Home.
Get under God’s care and protection (Eccl 4:9-12; 1Pet 5:8) – under
the shadow of His wings from the attacks of the devil!
Obey His instructions – the whole Bible is about God getting people to
work together, and live together, and survive TOGTHER! It is the devil who comes
to split up, and kill and destroy (Jn 10:10)
Study His instructions – don’t trust me, or just count on me to
“deal with your mate”! YOU had better get into that Bible and learn what God
says to do
Do right YOURSELF – don’t wait on your husband or wife
Pray, pray, pray for your spouse!
Love your spouse like you never have before! If you are a Christian, then
you CAN love even your enemy!
Do all this because you are living by faith and confidence in God’s way
instead of Oprah Winfry’s, or Jerry Springer’s ways!
Fear to mess with God’s Work
Either by upsetting your own home (Gal 5:15)
Or by messing with someone else’s home
Or by messing with someone else’s FUTURE home!!!
Have an Open bible always in your house
Learning Bible verses, Bible songs, and hymns (get rid of the radio and
Make the Bible the bedrock of your home – not your parents, or your
An open Bible in the homes of a nation makes for that nation to be GREAT!
There is no other means to greatness in history!
Have Fair Fights
a. Research proves that every happy couple has approximately ten areas of disagreement that they will never resolve.
b. Their marital success consists in being able to discuss their differences without letting it destroy the rest of their relationship. A couple has to learn how to handle their disagreements.
c. Couples must unlearn the attitudes that cause divorce.
d. Divorce laws have it all wrong: “Irreconcilable differences, - like a bad knee or a chronic back - are part of all good marriages. Successful couples learn to dance in spite of their differences. If we switch partners we’ll just get two new areas of disagreement, and sadly, some of the most acrimonious will be about the children from our previous marriages.”
e. Skills are needed to embrace the changing circumstances in marriage, pointing out that people can change during the course of a marriage.
f. These skills, for handling disagreement and for change, and to show one’s love for one’s spouse, can all be learned as we study this Bible like the Blueprint that it is.
g. So, talk, talk early on in the fight, and get the problem settled before you go to bed – the wife who WON’T is out of the will of God. The man who would rather sleep on the couch instead of get right with his wife is worse than a dog!
The Things When First Married
God has a very simple and powerful design for a lasting, satisfying home
The devil seeks only to destroy ANYTHING that was made by God
It is UP TO US to protect our homes – whether we are married, or
protect ourselves for our future homes!
Jesus purchased a home in heaven for us – thank God he keeps it pure
E. Are you saved?